This post has been written by a guest blogger – Bobby Foster. Thanks Bobby for an insightful message 🙂 Mandy X
Why You May Not Be Ready To Complete Your Goals
I had a very off-putting experience a few months ago. Over the summer, while school was out (whoo!), I had a lot of free time—too much free time, actually. I got bored of video games rather quickly, so I decided to try and be the most productive person that I could be.
I set goals for myself. I made things like weight loss goals, goals for my writing, goals that pushed me out of my comfort zone—like lifting weights at the gym, and goals that would make me healthier.
I was so pumped to get started on completing these goals. I actually got into a routine (which is unheard of for me) and was on the way to reaching most of my goals by the end of the summer. I was so happy that I was actually being productive.
Then something happened…
One goal that I picked up half way through the summer, and only had about a month to prepare for, was a poetry competition. I went to an open mic and they announced that they would be hosting it, and since I was on a roll that summer, I thought, why not?
Long story short, I ended up getting 2nd place, and I had thought I wasn’t even going to place! It was an amazing night, and I was really happy, for about a day. My happiness faded rather quickly, and I actually spiralled into a bit of a depression after that. I noticed that after I completed all of my goals, they would only satisfy me for a day or two before I had to set more goals. It was an endless cycle, which was bringing me no happiness.
But why?
I’ve been told my entire life that if I was productive and sought out my dreams and started to complete some milestones to reach them, it would make me the happiest person ever. I’d walk down the street with a smile plastered on my face, I’d be skipping even if it started to rain. I’d have all the confidence in the world. I would be able to talk to any girl that I wanted to, and they’d immediately interact with me, and every day would be amazing!
So what was I doing wrong? Why was I completing goals and feeling terrible afterwards?
I picked up a book that I read through every now and then when I’m feeling down, and I realized I was doing some things wrong when it came to goals.
Here’s what this experience taught me.
Working Towards Your Dreams is Important, but Not All There Is
You may think that your life is going to be defined by what you accomplish in this life—how successful you become, how much money you have, how many accolades are by your name. We are raised this way. We are told that our worth is based on how much we contribute to society.
Don’t get me wrong, contributing to the world is amazing, and it should be part of your life’s goals to affect the world in a positive way. However, it’s more important to make sure YOUR world is in order first.
Make sure that your inner self is strong, make sure that you take care of your personal matters, such as your health and your family. These things should always come first when it comes to completing goals and reaching your dreams.
I Wasn’t Enjoying The Journey
I was shooting for the stars without stopping to look at what was around me. My head was so focused on getting to that one star, that I didn’t notice all the other beautiful stars in the background, I didn’t notice the vastness of space and all the great things the universe has to offer me.
When you set goals, it’s not all about just reaching that point. It’s about how you get there. For example, say you had a goal to lose 10 pounds. There’s plenty of ways to lose weight, but which would be a better journey? You eating healthy and exercising to lose the weight? Or you starving yourself and finding unhealthy ways to drop the pounds?
The process is just as important as the end goal. We are so quick to want the satisfaction of completing something, that we ignore the journeys we take to get there, especially when it’s a long-term goal.
Learn From My Mistakes
Don’t be like me. Don’t set all these goals just to reach them and feel upset a few days later. Goals are not everything in life. Life is complex, and every one of us is different. Experiment and figure out what works for you. If you’re entirely goal driven, then hey, maybe this post isn’t for you, but I don’t want people to go through this same phase that I had.
Just remember, get yourself right first, and enjoy the journey, so that your goals will mean something to you later.
More on Bobby Foster: Bobby Foster’s website
Twitter account: @_BobbyFoster
Photo by symphony of love 
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
