Divorce is rarely an easy process for families. The ending of a marriage can take a toll on everyone and it can be difficult for children to process this major change. Fortunately, there are some ways you can maintain a strong family bond after getting a divorce. Here are some important points to keep in mind.
Don’t Speak Negatively About the Other Parent
Depending on the nature of your divorce, you may be left with feelings of betrayal or anger once your marriage is over. However, you shouldn’t speak negatively about your ex to your children. Remember that your ex is still your child’s mother or father. Your kids are likely dealing with feelings of their own concerning your divorce, and it’s not fair to burden them further with the conflicts you’re having with your ex. You should also give your kids a chance to see who their other parent is for themselves without causing them to be biased. Your children will appreciate you for this as they get older.
Discuss Adult Matters with Your Ex
You mustn’t talk about adult matters with your children, no matter how old they are. Even if your children are older, they may still be negatively affected by the fact that their parents are no longer together. Don’t tell your children about the financial or emotional stress the divorce has caused. This may cause your kids to feel that they have to take sides and this can lead to even more division in the family. If you have something important to discuss with your ex, make sure you do so privately in the most respectful fashion possible.
Stay In Contact with Your Children
Even if you move to another city or state and can’t spend as much time with your children as you did before the divorce, you should still stay in constant contact with them. Set up a time each night to read them a bedtime story virtually or send them a good morning text at the start of each day. Call your children often to check on them, see how they’re doing in school, and touch with them emotionally. Let them know about changes that are taking place in your life as well to ensure that you always remain close.
Schedule Quality Time
If you’re a parent who has moved out of the marital home, make sure you make an effort to spend quality time with your children. If you were attending your child’s sports games or school plays when you and their other parent were married, continue to do this after the divorce. It’s also a good idea to schedule a special day for each child so you can spend quality time with one another and make new memories. Of course, you can also plan a day for all of your children to spend time with you as well. In addition to special occasions, you should also make the most of the time any time you’re around your kids. Small things like helping with homework or making dinner with your children show them that you still love them and want a relationship with them.
Try to Keep the Peace
It’s important to learn how to get along with your ex-wife or ex-husband if the two of you have children together. Remember that children love both of their parents and are likely sad, confused, or upset about the divorce. When younger children witness you and your ex-bickering, they may feel that the divorce is their fault and will carry guilt and shame associated with the ending of your marriage. That’s why it’s so important to do your best to keep the peace after divorce. You and your ex may not become the best of friends, but you should make an effort to be civil for the sake of your children. After all, divorce is stressful enough, so trying to get along with your child’s other parent can make the situation much calmer.
These suggestions can make your family’s transition after divorce a little easier. When you’re able to be civil with your ex and maintain your bond with your children, living life after divorce can be much more manageable for everyone in the family.
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
