How to communicate better in relationships

Set aside approximately 20 minutes every day at a convenient time where you can both sit down and talk, when you aren’t tired or rushed.

Communication involves exchanging information as well as listening to each other.

Try to be positive in the interaction, guard against critical comments as this raises defensiveness in the other person.

Use assertive script to get a point across:

“When you…I feel…so what I would prefer is…”  This is a much better approach than stating “you always..” or “you never..”. This builds up resentment and leaves the other person feeling they are not appreciated or valued.

Look for positive attributes that you can comment on and give positive feedback on.

Seek out your partner’s desires and expectations. Let them know if these are realistic and reasonable and whether you will be able to fulfill these expectations/desires.

Acknowledge any efforts that you notice towards positive change.

Try to show affection.

Consider each other’s likes and dislikes.

Think before you speak – this alone will help you to manage your relationships well and help you to navigate the tricky dilemmas that we all face in relationships.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.