I attended a CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) workshop led by Steve Hollon at Surrey University a while ago. He was inspirational and one of his catch phrases that he uses with clients is “how is that working for you?” I love this sentence as it helps clients focus on behaviour that generally isn’t working for them. When they break it down they soon realise that some of their behaviours (and thinking) are counterproductive. When they try to analyse the benefits and find that there are no obvious ones, a shift in thinking takes place.
Many of us self sabotage or hold on to behaviour out of habit rather than for the benefits they bring us. It can be so routine that we don’t even question why we do things or react the way we do. A shake up brings uncertainty but also the promise of greater fulfilment.
Take an audit – what behaviour do you engage in that isn’t working for you? Are you in a dead-end relationship? Do you avoid looking after yourself preferring the unhealthy alternative? Why?
How is that working for you??
M x
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
