The Christmas season affects relationships in both good and bad ways. A relationship that is doing well can excel even more in the Christmas season when the focus is on love, companionship and family. A relationship that is floundering though may find the Christmas season the final straw for the longevity of their relationship. Apparently, January is the month when most divorces are sought…food for thought.
I have found in my work that many couples seek counselling before or after Christmas. Christmas highlights the negatives. This is when we are most aware of failings in our relationships. Society suggests that we should all be happily ensconsed with our relatives, enjoying food and laughter especially during Christmas. We take note of this ideal and compare our reality and the two very rarely match up. This is when dissatisfaction sets in and we begin to focus on what isn’t right in our close relationships.
During the Christmas season, we often have to spend more time with family. This can cause problems for relationships where they function superficially, but the relationship is in trouble on a deeper level. These relationships are like a house that looks fine but go inside and you’ll see the floor boards are rotting and foundations are crumbling.
Many relationships function superficially – the couple manage to keep up appearances with others. They take the kids to school have dinner parties and appear to get on well. The true picture though is that the communication is down to a minimum, sex is non-existant (or sparse) and there is very little emotional or physical intimacy anymore. These are the relationships that will be more in danger during the Christmas season.
Relationships take work, if you don’t tend to them and regularly put effort in, they struggle over time and the divide between two people will grow until a great chasm appears.
Make sure to communicate regularly – this is the best and most effective antidote to superficial distant relationships. Put the effort in and enjoy a Christmas season full of genuine laughs, hugs and conversation.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
