No matter how many dates you go on, or how many people you go out with, dating remains a mystery that’s difficult to crack for most people. Whether you’re just looking to have fun at a casual social outing or if you’re searching for your soulmate, the process never really tends to be very straightforward. Meeting people and making a connection is tricky enough, but so many more complexities set in once the relationship kicks off. Two people can interact on so many levels, so trying to navigate the various stages of the relationship takes effort.
Chances are you’ve been through this before and have likely been hurt or disappointed, so it may be hard to open up to someone again. Engaging in such a personal association with someone else requires the willingness to be vulnerable if you really want to get to know each other. But then, this shouldn‘t translate to neediness or desperation, which isn’t an attractive quality. You can still convey confidence while allowing your partner to learn more about you. If you don’t necessarily feel bold or know how to express your self-assurance, there are a few exercises you can consider to build up your courage.
Self-Image
The opinion you have of yourself is really the only one that matters. How you perceive yourself may not always equate to how others see you, but if you give off a timid vibe, people will definitely sense it. While there may be plenty of fish in the sea, you always want to put your best foot forward, so you’ll be ready when you run into the right person that can truly appreciate who you are.
You don’t need anyone else to validate your self-worth, and you’ll encounter the full spectrum of people who will either try to shut you down or be over the moon to spend time with you. Accept the fact that you can’t please everyone, and learn to be comfortable with yourself.
Shifting Your Focus
Shyness is a product of fixating too much on yourself. The best way to overcome that is to focus on your surroundings and the person you’re with. When you become genuinely interested in what your date is saying and ask questions, you won’t only flatter your companion, but you can get out of your own head as well.
Some people may feel the need to show off or exaggerate their lives when talking about themselves, but their dates can typically pick up on the embellishment. Turning the attention to your companion often has a way of making you the most interesting person in the room rather than the person answering questions. The mystique you generate and thoughtfulness you express toward your date makes for a heady combination.
Remember When…
When we were children, it seemed we didn’t have a care in the world. We just wanted to have fun, and we often acted without considering the consequences. As children, we were more brash and carefree when facing the unfamiliar. As we get older, we become more self-aware. There are ramifications for our actions, and the world is full of people who are more successful, better-looking, and more naturally confident.
We all have individual strengths we’re confident in, which are what we should focus on rather than dwell on our weaknesses. While we can’t realistically approach life with the reckless abandon of children, we should try to tap into some of that bravado. Remind yourself that you have positive qualities with plenty to offer another person, and ride that wave through the dating scene. Winding up with egg on your face after the occasional social interaction isn’t as dire as missing a rent or a car payment.
Building confidence is similar to finding the motivation to do any activity. It doesn’t just magically manifest itself in your psyche. You have to put in the effort. Ultimately, it isn’t just a tool that can help make the dating scene more fun. It enhances all aspects of your life. Multiple resources can help with your dating woes. If you’ve hit a stumbling block meeting new people, dating sites are a common option. You can cast a wide net or narrow down your search by using apps that cater to partiality toward various religions, career paths, or even ethnicity like a mixed race dating site | InterracialDating.com. Whatever route you take, don’t give up on your search for a partner if you truly feel that sharing your life with someone will bring you fulfillment and happiness.
Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
