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How to be more sociable

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How to be more sociable

Everyone goes through phases of feeling less sociable. We all have doubts at times and can feel anxious in social situations. This is normal. If however you find that you avoid social encounters due to anxiety it’s time to do something different. Many shy people want others to come to them first. They inadvertently give off negative body language to which others respond by staying away..this then repeats the cycle and the negative feelings a person has about their social skills becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I have a little strategy that I use with my clients and it seems to work very well in making someone who feels a little shy socially, more approachable.

It’s called the “Shop Open” technique.

Visualise a row of shops. Some have their shutters/doors closed whilst others have their doors wide open inviting you in. You are very likely to go into the shops that are open and avoid, ignoring the shops that appear closed (even if they aren’t). The same process happens in life between people. If you give off “shop open” signals, people feel you are inviting them, that you will will receive them warmly.

Shop Open signals:

Eye contact

Shoulders back


Open body language

Shop Closed signals:

Closed body language (folded arms, hunched over…)

No eye contact

No smiling

Looking disinterested


Change your body language and watch how others respond positively to you. You are giving off social cues all the time, mostly non verbal. Also watch your inner dialogue – tell yourself that you are great company, good fun to be around, have a sense of humour – whatever applies to you. Remind yourself regularly of your strengths and see yourself as a valuable person to know. Be more sociable – Shop open!


Mandy X

row of shops photo







Photo by atrapadoenunpueblo

Photo by Dominic’s pics

Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.

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