Middle aged loneliness doesn’t have to be scary or unhappy. In fact it can be a surge in self discovery.

Don’t give up hope

We tend to catastrophise when we are feeling stressed. We think about the worst case scenario and this makes us feel even worse. Stop thinking that you will end up alone forever or that you will never find love again. There is NO evidence for this, it’s just your insecurities talking. Take no notice.

Focus on yourself – the rest will follow

Put the focus back on yourself. Look after yourself and engage in self care with a vengeance. Get to the gym, eat well and see your friends. Be selfish, for once you don’t have to think about someone else. YAY!!

Middle aged loneliness can be a time for regeneration and increased confidence.

Keep busy

Too much time sitting around is a recipe for disaster. Wehn we are alone with too much time on our hands, worry and fear creeps in. Get out and about, watch movies and keep your mind occupied.

Make the most of time to be selfish

It’s highly likely that you will one day be back in a relationship, so for now enjoy the fact that you can be completely selfish. I know so many people in miserable relationships and they long to be alone. Many people are afraid to be alone because they feel they can’t cope alone or they are so financially dependent on their partner that they feel trapped. Feel empowered…enjoy the alone time.

Focus on whats good about being single!!!

Instead of thinking the grass is greener as part of a couple, be appreciative of where you are right now. Change your attitude. Think about all that you didn’t enjoy when part of a couple – things you didn’t enjoy doing. Think of the other person’s bad habits. It’s all about how you think…middle aged loneliness can be looked at from many different angles.

Work on your self belief and self worth

Relationships can affect self esteem and confidence. Use your time as a single person to rebuild your self worth. This is the time to undo the negative messages from the past and create a new you!

Being single can be scary but it can equally be liberating. It can teach you that you can cope on your own. If you can cope alone and get to the point where you want a relationship but don’t NEED one, you’re in a position of a power and will attract the right kind of partner.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.