If you’re anything like me, it can feel unbearable to have to deal with uncertainty. I want to know now if my decision will be a good one. I want to know now whether my latest love interest is going to be worth my effort and focus – there are so many ways in which I crave certainty yet will be given very little or none at all.
I can either resist this and drive myself crazy in the process or I can learn to accept the status quo and find inner ways to be at peace with the uncertainty life offers freely.
When we need certainty, we worry in an effort to gain certainty. Unfortunately, this is wasted energy as uncertainty will always exist no matter how much or how little we worry.
Steps to dealing with uncertainty:
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Be aware of your need for certainty
“There I go again, I see that in this situation I feel a need for certainty…”
2. Don’t respond
Instead of seeking reassurance – don’t do anything. Don’t respond – just acknowledge.
3. Let go
What can you tell yourself to help you let go of your need for certainty?
4. Focus on the present moment as much as possible
Enjoy life now, stop wishing it away. Try not to live in the future.
5. Deal with your wandering mind
What can you tell yourself to help you when your mind wanders back to needing certainty?
The more you repeat the above steps, the more at ease you will become with the idea of living with uncertainty. You will be doing it! Living with uncertainty isn’t all that bad – it’s what we perceive about not having certainty that freaks us out but the reality is that we are always living with uncertainty and have done since the moment we were born. We may have just dressed it up differently or not acknowledged it for what it is. Remember that worrying only gives you the illusion of certainty. Become comfortable with the concept of uncertainty – when you embrace it instead of seeing it an the enemy it seems less frightening and just seems an inevitable part of this mad life we lead.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
