It’s not easy to know what to say when someone dies. On one hand, you may feel the need to express your sympathy and condolences to the family and friends of the deceased. But on the other hand, you may not know what to say or how to say it.
In this blog post, we’ll provide some tips on how to express sympathy for the death of a loved one. We’ll also provide examples of sympathy messages that you can send to friends and family members grieving the loss of a loved one. Read on to learn more about how to express sympathy.
Write a Sympathy Card
Writing a sympathy card is one of the easiest ways to express condolences for someone who has lost a loved one. However, grief doesn’t follow any set rules and everyone’s experience with loss is different.
There are no formulaic expressions that will make everything okay. Sympathy cards are helpful in expressing your love and support in times of grief, but it’s important to be respectful of the individual’s needs rather than trying to fit them into a box.
Writing a sympathy card is one of the easiest ways to show love and support during times of grief. However, no expression will ever feel like enough when you’ve lost someone.
Send Flowers
Sending flowers is another great way to show your support. Flowers are beautiful and are appreciated during times of grief. It’s critical to remember that not all flowers are created equal. Lilies, for example, represent death in some cultures. That may make them an inappropriate choice depending on the specific circumstances.
Contacting a service like 800Florals funeral flowers is a great way to find the best flowers for funeral services and to express sympathy.
Make a Meal
Meals are a wonderful way to show that you care enough to go above and beyond. Cooking for someone is a great way to ease the burden of domestic duties in times of grief. However, it’s essential to know if your loved one has dietary restrictions or dislikes before making something they may not eat.
Remembering All Those Details
Remembering all those little things is one of the most essential parts of expressing condolences. Flowers may be beautiful, but if they’re not your loved one’s favorite, they won’t mean much. You want to alleviate as much stress as possible by making sure that all of your gestures reflect what your friend or family member might like.
Sympathy cards, lilies, flowers, and casseroles are all great gestures that will show your loved one how much you care about them. It’s important to remember that whatever you decide to do, it should be reflective of your loved one’s personal tastes and preferences.
Genuinely Be There for Them
The most significant part of expressing condolences is to be there for your loved one. Let them know that you’ll always be around should they want someone to talk to or rely on.
Showing up consistently and simply being there without asking too much is the best way to ease their pain during times of grief. Perhaps the best way to express sympathy is to be there through thick and thin.
Give a Gift
Gift giving is a great way to express your condolences. For some people, gifts are difficult when they’re in the midst of hurting. It may not always feel right to open up and accept something new or different, even if it’s given with love and with the greatest intentions.
However, if you give them something special, it’ll touch their hearts. There are many sympathy gift ideas that aren’t too extravagant, but they’re thoughtful.
Understanding the Stages of Grief
There are five stages of grief defined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
The five stages of grief are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. While these stages may be helpful for others to understand the process after a loss occurs, they do not cover the entire scope of the journey fully or accurately.
Those who are grieving may experience many of these stages. However, they may not necessarily go through it all in the same order or to the extent that they appear. There is no time frame for how long each person will venture through these stages.
It may be years before someone moves on from one stage to another, and it could skip around. People will often go back and forth between stages many times before they finally accept the loss.
As each person goes through this process, it is important to be thoughtful of how you bring up the loss of their loved one. While some may want to share their experience, others may not want to talk about it at all. Use your discretion and make sure there is a good reason for you to bring up the topic.
The stages of grief are not a set of guidelines that must be followed. Therefore, it is unwise to get caught up in the minutia of each step. If someone is struggling, help them work through their emotions and encourage them to keep moving forward.
Even if they move back and forth between stages, eventually they will reach acceptance.
Show Sympathy Through Sweet Messages
Whether you’re writing a sympathy card or an online message, you can express sympathy through a comforting message. Here are some examples of messages meant to send encouragement, strength, or general feelings of goodwill to someone who is hurting:
- I’m so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to feel such pain. Keep your head up. Remember that people are here for you, and never forget how loved you are.
- Just know that everyone around you loves you, including me. I am here for you whenever you need me. Please, don’t be afraid to reach out.
- I’m here for you whenever you need to talk. I’ve experienced the same thing you’re going through, and I completely understand. My prayers are with you.
As you can see, you can express sympathy through small gestures. You don’t have to go to great lengths to show someone how much you care.
Things Not to Say to a Grieving Person
So, someone you love just lost a loved one. They’re probably feeling a range of emotions: sorrow, anger, sadness. You might even be blaming yourself for what happened.
They certainly feel alone in the world right now—isolated even from those who are close to them. The last thing they want to hear is an insensitive remark about their situation. So, here’s what not to say:
-
“They’re in a better place now.”
This is perhaps the most common phrase people use when someone passes away. However, it’s actually one of the worst things you could possibly say to someone who just suffered such a loss. You never want to show sympathy by saying these words.
Yes, their loved one is in a better place. But they’re in that better place by being deceased. That means the world is definitely not a better place without them in it. They may have already had plans to do something or go somewhere when they were alive—now they’ll never get to do those things.
Remember, if their loved one never got to accomplish those goals, just thinking about it hurts. To think that their future will be forever cut off is extremely painful. That means you can’t say anything good will come of their passing—because it won’t.
-
“You’re young, you’ll find someone else.”
This is one of the worst things to say to a grieving person. If their loved one was a spouse or partner, it’s especially hurtful. Sure, saying this might give your friend an incentive for dating again. Nonetheless, it should be his or her decision when they’re ready to move on.
There are lots of people in the world, so it’ll definitely happen eventually. But in the moment, they have to grieve.
They don’t want to think about moving on yet. They’re hurting and dealing with strong emotions. If you say this to them, you might break your loved one’s heart into more pieces.
-
“You’ll get over it in time.”
When you say this phrase, it makes grieving people feel like they’re defective. They wonder if there is something wrong with them because they can’t just “get over” their loved one’s death and keep living happily ever after.
Yes, the pain will eventually go away—but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy getting there. It’s a process that requires patience and time.
To a grieving person, you might as well have just told them to “suck it up.” Not only is this phrase unnecessary, but your loved one can’t hear it in the moment. Don’t make them feel inadequate by suggesting how they should feel.
Understanding How to Express Sympathy
Thank you for reading our content on how to express sympathy to a person who has lost a loved one. We hope that you found this information helpful and that it will assist you in your future interactions with people who are grieving.
Did you like reading this content? If you did, continue browsing our website for more valuable information on a variety of topics. Thanks again for stopping by!
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
