Breakups suck, pure and simple. That gut wrenching sick feeling…the world can feel like it’s at an end and you may wonder if you will ever mend. If you want to get over a breakup fast, you’re in the right place.
How to get over a breakup fast
Like yourself/feel good about yourself
This can be hard to do especially if the breakup has left you questioning your worth. This is the time to focus on what is good about you. A breakup can leave you feeling not good enough but when you understand that this isn’t necessarily how others see you. This is your interpetation of the recent upsetting events. The more you like yourself, the easier the breakup will be. If your sense of self worth comes solely from the relationship, it will feel as if your world has imploded. This is why maintaining a strong sense of what is great about you, single or coupled up, is essential for keeping you sane.
Never accept anyone else’s opinion of you
My ex partner left me feeling worthless as if no one would ever want me again. I doubt he did this intentionally but the end result was the same. Your ex isn’t the expert on love or on how worthy you are as a person. Never allow his/her view of you to trump your own view. You decide who you are…no one else. Your ex isn’t perfect either.
Have an independent life
The more you have going on besides your relationship the better off you will be if you separate. A good job, a circle of friends and some hobbies are all you need to keep a strong foundation when going through a breakup. You will still feel sad, unfortunately there is no shortcut around this bit but you will still have enough around you to keep you busy and more stable. A relationship should be a bonus, not the main focus.
Focus on why it didn’t work
There’s a reason it didn’t work out. I always make a list of all the bad bits and what I didn’t like and read it when I start to romanticise what we had. Instead of worrying about all the good you’ve lost, focus on the bad that you don’t have to put up with ever again…yahooooo
Keep busy
Feel the hurt and have a good cry but then get busy living life. You may not feel like it and if this is the case, just put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. During my recent breakup I woke up every morning with a feeling of dread, thinking “Not another awful day to drag myself through”, but after a few weeks (3-4) the feeling of dread starts to disappear and the old happy you emerges.
There is no magic formula to magic away the pain. You just have to do whatever you can to pull yourself through the early days. No contact can work if you find that conatct with your ex sets you back. You will find it hard (I had to sit on my hands or text girlfriends!) but you will respect yourself more for staying away.
Mandy X
Photo by Hean Prinsloo on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
