How to have confidence

Ways to increase your confidence – this won’t happen overnight but here are some tips:

Always talk to yourself in a positive way. Catch any negative thinking and get into the habit of reframing it immediately. For example: if you had an automatic negative thought such as: I am not sociable enough with others – reframe that to something more helpful like: I may not always be outgoing but I am great fun to be with and I am good company.

This takes a bit of practice but if you keep at it, eventually the quality of your thoughts will improve and you will feel a lot better about yourself

Never ever talk down to yourself – it serves no use and just makes you feel bad about yourself, so why do it?

Try not to compare yourself to others – this is counterproductive. Instead – compare your progress – where you were to where you are now..Are you on track? Where do you need to step up progress?

Do things for you – exercise, read books, expand your social network..see it as “Project Me”..think highly of yourself (people confuse this with arrogance and it ISN’T the same thing – arrogance means thinking you are better than everyone else. Thinking highly of yourself involves self acceptance – liking who you are and what you stand for)

In relationships… watch your thinking. Don’t allow yourself to ever think the other person is better than you or too good for you. Keep perspective and remind yourself of your strengths and the good things you have to offer in a relationship.

Fear – try not to let fear rule you. Push forward, get out of your comfort zone – it is scary but it is the only way to expand and grow as a person. See failure as a lesson, never personalise failure to “you being a failure”..rather that action/attempt didnt work – learn from it and move forward.

Make more of an effort to talk to others and push yourself to talk to others. Others aren’t judging you nearly as much as you think they are. Just focus on them and their possible hang ups rather than focusing on how you are coming across. I guarantee you that most people are so self absorbed and are more worried whether their bum looks big or their wrinkles are showing!

Take it step by step – small starts towards a better, bolder you.

Lastly –  ACT AS IF…sometimes we dont feel confident inside and this is when you temporarily have to act. Imagine a celebrity or someone you admire – how would they act, respond etc..try to pretend you are this person – it sounds mad but it does work…

This should be a good start – read the above a few times and try to implement the above.