“Peaceful” isn’t a word that most people would associate with a divorce. Even if the marriage ended relatively amicably, there tends to still be some tension. This makes sense – ending a marriage is hard on all parties involved. And while you may be hurt and angry and want to lash out, that’s not the best route to go. As hard as it may be, you need to try to keep the divorce process as peaceful as possible, especially for you. You don’t want to be carrying these negative feelings with you forever. But how do you keep the divorce process peaceful? We’re here to talk about just that.
Get a lawyer
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to be civil, you will be unable to be in the same room with your ex-spouse without getting into a fight. In this case, the best way to keep the peace is to avoid interacting with them as much as possible and to communicate only via a third party, such as a lawyer. If possible, try to get a lawyer who specializes in divorce, such as a Skyview Law family lawyer. Appointing lawyers may also help ensure that the process is fair towards both parties.
Communicate
If you don’t want to get a lawyer, you will need to communicate with your ex-spouse directly. This is often the last thing people want to do because the pain is still so fresh. However, if there’s no communication, it could lead to misunderstandings, which could lead to fights. And we all know fighting is the opposite of peaceful. Of course, this is even more important if you have children with them. Unfortunately, if you are parents, you won’t ever be able to truly cut each other off. You can learn more about parenting with your ex here.
Work on yourself
People often don’t realize that a divorce doesn’t just involve your relationship and marriage breaking off, but it also involves a lot of internal conflicts. You may need to reevaluate who you are without your partner. You may feel insecure. All of these things can manifest as anger, which could lead to you having hostile feelings towards your ex-spouse and making things harder than they need to be. To truly find peace, you need to work on yourself, for yourself. Therapy is a good idea. There are many types of therapy, such as hypnotic therapy or psychotherapy, and all have different benefits, so you can find what works for you.
Find support
As we’ve mentioned, it can be hard to remain civil around your ex-spouse, especially if the marriage ended on bad terms. But that doesn’t mean you should start yelling at them each time you see them. That being said, you do still need to talk about your feelings, so having a support system is a good idea. You can vent about your feelings to them. This system can be made up of friends, family, or even an online group. Divorce is much harder when you feel alone.
Photo by Hutomo Abrianto on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
