How to build trust in yourself
1. Recognize that all humans are comprised of “good” and “bad” parts. In other words, we’re flawed beings.
2. Accept your dark, unsavory, and primitive parts. Change what you can, and accept that you will never be fully evolved.
3. Work on tolerating strong, intense emotions like distress, hostility, rejection, intimacy, and love.
4. Be conscious of projecting those feelings externally because you don’t want to deal with them.
5. Leave your past betrayals behind. Resist the urge to dwell on those who have wronged you, and refuse to let these experiences get in the way of fostering healthy relationships now.
6. Manage time. Trust means suspending instant gratification. While waiting for a call, a job offer, a favor, or an answer, lean into the downtime. Instead of defaulting to controlled substances, incessantly texting another person, or going into panicmode, find healthy ways to keep your mind occupied.
7. Know that the world is basically a safe place, and believe in the inherent goodwill of others.
8. Learn to accept that when someone betrays or compromises your trust, you can
withstand uncomfortable feelings of rage, rejection, hurt, and uncertainty. You will not fall apart and self-destruct because you haven’t thus far.
9. Forgive yourself for projecting onto others and for lashing out. We’ve all been there, done that.
10. Realize others cannot “get” you if you don’t get yourself.
Is this hard work?
You bet. Who wants to face their ugly side? In an ideal world, everyone. The first step in experiencing healthy, thriving relationships is learning to contain our unwanted feelings, and not project them onto someone else.
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Mandy X
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Source – Psychology Today
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
