Do you feel like “love” and “long-distance relationship” do not go in the same sentence? If so, then be ready to be astounded after reading this article.
Long-distance relationships are one of the most sizzling topics in my opinion. It’s quite mesmerizing to watch such vivid romanticism between two people who are geographically so far from each other, yet they act like two souls in one body as if one has consumed a part of their partner’s heart. How they consider each other’s opinions every step of the way baffles me. It’s like they don’t even need a phone to communicate.
Call me an addict for love stories, but I need them to survive my own loner life. One of my favorite long-distance relationship quotes of all time would be, “Together forever, never apart. Sometimes in distance, but never in heart.”. To keep this Shakespearean era of love alive for my own sake, today I will show you how you can feel your partner right beside you.
Make Sure Where You Stand
To address what’s imperative, make sure you want to do this. Communication is the key in every relationship. So put everything out on the table, clear the air and make sure you know where you stand in your relationship. Do not procrastinate to discuss with your partner the rules and boundaries that you both have to abide by, for as long as you stay together. By doing this, you will establish a mutual understanding with your partner, and know what you are getting yourself into.
Long-distance relationships do have their perks but at the same time, it is not a walk in the park. All relationships take effort and compromises. If you are a college student, it will be particularly challenging for you. Allow me to elaborate. In college, it’s not only the first step for the career you want to pursue it’s also your first step in the real world. You don’t only learn your major, you also get familiar with the people you are surrounded with. The type of people you are drawn to and vice versa. If you get involved in a long-distance relationship this early, you might miss a chunk of your college days as your relationship will demand time and nurturing from you. So make sure it’s something you’re up for. Don’t make hasty decisions just after seeing the next curve on the road, watch the whole picture from above, and take your time.
Keep it Balanced
Now that you have addressed the elephant in the room, and you are ready to dive deep into your love life, let’s talk about the perks. Each of the components of your life, like work, love, and social life, all require a healthy balance between them. I like to think that the time we spend in this world, we stand on a balance beam where each scale represents a component of our life. If you press too hard in any one of them, you lose the overall balance in both. In time, we all learn the techniques to keep the balance through trial and error.
Distance is Not a Disadvantage
Research has shown that spending less time together elevates your affection towards each other. This is because, in the absence of your partner, you miss his presence, which makes you appreciate the moments you spend together. It’s just like an exercise. You endure the pain in the process, which makes you feel over the top when it finally ends. This is something you would never feel if you stay together all the time.
Be More Compassionate Towards Your Partner
Due to the limited time available, do not waste your precious moments bickering. Instead, make new memories that will help you survive the days that you won’t be able to spend with each other. Making pleasant memories makes you look forward to your next adventure together. Weigh your unpleasant words that might hurt your partner. Always keep in your mind, that something might have happened behind the scenes that you don’t know about. If you fail to do that, your relationship will take a turn since there’s time in your hands to overthink, and let’s get real, we always overthink the negative thoughts. If you found something hurtful about your partner, discuss what offended you like two mature people.
Make your partner feel involved
Always share the deeds and avoid the shortcut. In this 21st century, we are too lazy to explain an incident to someone who hasn’t been present. Instead, we use the phrase ” You won’t understand”, to hide our unwillingness to share it, forgetting that they live in the same era too. Refrain yourselves from doing that. Don’t only share the story, share the whole atmosphere you were in, what you looked like and what the other characters in the story made you feel. This will make your partner feel that he was present in that situation.
Let Your Man Know That You Are Thinking About Him
Although there is nothing more romantic than love letters and payphones, technology certainly made it easier for people to remind each other of their presence. So make sure to use it. Go and send a photo or a voice message right now!
Keep the spark going. Do activities together, cook and have dinner while being on video calls, plan a Netflix night, go to bed together to have the sensation that you are sleeping next to each other.
Dream about your future
In life, we always find hope when we believe that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Similarly, every day you have to assure yourselves that one day, there will be no distance keeping you apart, both mentally and physically. Reassure your partner that everything you do in your life, you do it for both of your lives, that you will always prioritize each other no matter what.
Hence, keep on dreaming about your house, children, life, and your responsibilities for the future because it only becomes true when you have a plan. Make the most out of the days when you meet, dance all night, listen to each other’s crazy adventures to have a glimpse of that future you dream about.
Don’t do what you don’t want your partner to do
Being in a long-distance relationship always comes at a price, and that is insecurity. Whether you are naturally insecure or not, this will always play a role in your relationship, and you will always struggle to keep it at bay. Hence, I suggest you use your freedom and your time to make new friends and divert your attention, have your problems to deal with, and stay occupied in a good way.
There you go. That’s my idea of a true Romeo and Juliet story. Do write a memoir of your own version of Shakespearean love, so I can feed off of it later. Have a good day!
Photo by Scott Broome on Unsplash
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
