Interpreting Facebook behaviour isn’t difficult. When you step back and look dispassionately at a person’s Facebook feed, it can tell you stacks about a person. Many of my clients put posts on facebook that are a far cry from the reality of their real lives. I have noticed many common patterns between the types of posts a person puts on facebook and the real meaning behind it.
The main secret to interpreting Facebook behaviour is that we tend to want to overcompensate for our perceived inadequacies and facebook is a good way to convince ourselves and others that we are acceptable and not inadequate.
So here you go, my tongue in cheek interpretation of Facebook behaviour:
Many pictures of the opposite sex
This person is desperate for you to see them as successful with the opposite sex. Chances are that they, in all likelihodd, feel quite inadequate when it comes to close relationships with the opposite sex. if you delve deeper, you will probably find this person has a hard time holding onto relationships and might not have had a long term relationship or have had very few.
Many pictures of the same sex
This person is desperate for you to see them as popular. They want you to believe that they are social animals and live a full life. Inevitably, this usually means that they are desperate to fit in and be accepted by others. They feed off external validation and usually have low self esteem.
Loads of selfies
Well, this is an easy one. Please praise me, please tell me I look great =screams LOW SELF ESTEEM. Their self worth comes form their looks. They survive on the approval of others. It’s strange but some of my most attractive clients have been the most insecure. I believe this is due to the fact that others have constantly told them they look good and it can become a source of externalised self worth.
Constant posts about their loving relationship
First, pass the bucket. Nothing is more off putting than someone who goes on and on about their “hashtag gorgeous partner” etc
Why can’t you just tell your partner, why does it have to go on Facebook? This can mean the person posting is quite insecure with their partner and tries to convince themselves it’s all good by confirming it on Facebook. They may also have a belief that you need to be in a relationship to be worthwhile (yep, some people believe this) and assume others think the same way. They think others will perceive them as winners because they are in an amazing relationship. Actually, it just makes them look sad.
Seriously – go spend quality time with your partner instead of writing about it on Facebook.
Constant posts about their children
Again, this suggests there is a problem with the communication between parent and child/teenager. If you need to express your feelings about your close family on Facebook, it makes you wonder how this is helpful and what goal they are trying to achieve. So they obviously want others to know that they have a good relationship with their offspring which suggests that underlying this post, there are possible issues.
Perhaps the parent/child relationship has been very up and down…the very act of placing this kind of post on Facebook suggests that something is up…it’s evidence in itself. Why tell others? Go spend quality time with your kids instead. Stay off Facebook. Other people are busy and probably don’t really care.
Constant posts about their amazing life
No one has a perfect life. Don’t buy into it. This person is probably a loser. For your own sanity, unfriend them…
Facebook is a great place for self promotion, self validation and a host of other emotional needs. Everything in moderation is fine but when posts are excessive, read between the lines – you’ll learn a lot!
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
