Hey, I know life can be shit at times. I’ve been there and I know what it feels like. It’s as if everyone and everything is against you. If there is a God, he is up there having a laugh. That’s what I imagine when life gets on top of me. The trick is to always remind yourself that the intense awful feeling won’t last. It really doesn’t. It might come back again some time but that awful feeling where you feel you can’t take anymore does go away. So I have learned to ride the wave of intense emotion because I know it will come crashing down soon and dissipate. That intensity can’t last – think of the law of averages.
I tend to catastrophise…a lot. I take one small thing and it starts off a cycle of thoughts. The initial event that triggers my cycle of thinking could be something as innocuous as someone I care about not getting back to me for a while when I have sent them a text. If I am busy it’s less likely to occur but if I have time on my hands, the thinking can take on a life all of it’s own. Why haven’t they contacted me? Have I done something wrong? (this is known as personalising – another thinking error just like catastrophising). Thinking errors never have any evidence behind them and are based on assumptions. We often upset ourselves over assumptions – over things that aren’t even true. What a waste of emotion!
So when life throws you a curve ball, just remember that you are experiencing normal life, just like the rest of us. It’s okay – it’s to be expected and it won’t last. Accept that it sucks and then focus your attention elsewhere until you feel better. If you are able to problem solve and implement an action to help you feel better, do that first and then focus your attention elsewhere. Never spend too much emotional energy in the moment – it’s exhausting and the outcome will be the same. The intensity will pass.
Despite often feeling that we are alone in what we are going through, we are all actually living ‘parallel’ lives, some if us are just better at pretending that everything is always okay.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
