Some people think it’s clever to insult you in a subtle way. They will make a comment that is offensive but will then follow it up with, “I was only joking”. This is one of my pet hates. People who do this are cowards, they get their message across in a way that allows them to get away with it without repercussions. They hide behind the statement, “I was only joking” to avoid any backlash. Well, it’s not funny.
People who do this are engaging in what is known as “passive-aggressive” behaviour. They don’t have the balls to say what they really mean. If you still react to it, they will blame you saying that you don’t have a sense of humour. This is a form of emotional abuse.
There is nothing funny about being told you are lazy, fat or not good enough no matter how someone tries to deliver the message. There will be times of course when someone will have a negative message for us, that is life. But if they say it in an assertive way that gets to the point in a sensitive way, that is far better than trying to get the point across using ill placed humour.
Stand up for yourself if this happens. If you don’t you are being passive and the person is likely to do it again in the future. We all deserve to be treated with respect and passive aggressive behaviour is very damaging to any relationship. It’s not funny. Nip it in the bud.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
