Learning self acceptance
No amount of self improvement can make up for a lack of self acceptance. There are two sides to each of us – our ‘essential self’ – the person you were born to be before you became conditioned to act a certain ways by society. Then there’s your ‘social self’ – the ‘acceptable’ you that has been show how to behave in the presence of others.
Essentially this gives us all the message that we are fundamentally not okay as our essential selves. What an awful message!! This leads to most people lacking in self esteem and feeling they are not good enough.
Understand this – you are GOOD ENOUGH. Everything that you are and that you have inside is all you need to be amazing, to be successful and to achieve peace of mind. You don’t have to accept society’s warped version of who you should be. Our social self is constantly under bombardment – wear these clothes, drive this car. act like this and you will be accepted. Your essential self feels wonderful without having to do anything. If you lack self esteem and constantly feel inferior to others, you are far too tuned in to your social self.
There is nothing wrong with you. Finding your essential self means turning inwards and focusing upon what you REALLY want instead of what you feel is expected of you.
How to reconnect with your essential self:
Laugh more
Be childlike and curious about the world
Maintain a neutral perspective as much as possible. Keep an open mind and find out first before you make up your mind. Get rid of preconceived ideas about the world and others.
Don’t take yourself too seriously
Stop listening to others, especially those that are negative and cynical and tell you that you can’t do something
Take time out from your busy life – make time to be playful and have fun
Make your own rules and decide which rules that others have made work for you
Watch the news less
Think positively about others and see them as fun and engaging rather than having fearful suspicious thinking of everyone (to a degree obviously with this one…don’t be naive).
Get in touch with your emotions instead of operating on ‘auto-pilot’
Live more in the moment
Start identifying rules that you have put in place. for example – I can only enjoy myself once I have exhausted myself and worked hard. Look at each rule and see whether this belief is one you wish to carry around with you and adhere to. Be wary of rules that keep you limited and stop you achieving your true potential.
Be fearless, be brave and choose thoughts and rules that empower you and help you to get out there and live your best life possible.
Mandy X
Photo by symphony of love 
Photo by Celestine Chua
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
