This is a subject I feel very qualified to comment on. I have had both love and security, and will explain what the outcome was. Now I am not saying that love and security are mutually exclusive but it does seem that when I have focused on security, the love was missing or flawed. What’s more important to you? Love or security?
So, I dated men in the past who were wealthy and I thought this was what I needed in order to feel safe. I thought that money would give me the security I needed when in fact the security I really wanted most was emotional in nature.
Perhaps I have just been unlucky but the men that I have dated. They had money and were corporate types with little time left over for me.
Often they were emotionally unavailable and left me feeling undervalued and unloved. There was also an inequality that pervaded the relationship with them having more power and say over things due to the fact that they held the purse strings.
I have finally broken the pattern and gone for someone who gives me love and emotional security. It’s an amazing place to be!
I see it all the time with my clients – the wives of wealthy men end up having affairs and/or leaving their wealthy office-bound husbands for labourers, plumbers, gas fitters, and electricians.
Emotional support
These men earn less but offer emotional support far beyond what wealthy corporate husbands can offer.
Of course – I am generalising but I have noticed a pattern. I can think of at least five couples that I know directly where this has happened.
The husband has been left wondering what happened while the wife is happily ensconced with her new lover and half of her husband’s estate in the process.
Women need to feel valued and cared for, they need conversation and compliments. So if you’re wondering what will make you happy – when it’s between love and security, choose love over security every time…trust me on this one!!
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
