Loving two people at the same time
Is it possible to love two people equally? From research that I have done and speaking to many clients, I would say the answer is “yes”.
Usually, an existing relationship is struggling and the couple are growing apart. An opportunity then exists for love to be directed towards another. Comparisons begin between the security and safety of the existing relationship and the excitement and novelty of a new relationship. This scenario is more common than someone meeting two people and being equally drawn to both – although this is increasing due to multiple dating on the internet.
More often than not, when someone cannot choose between two fairly new partners, the choice may be down to a person’s fears and past baggage as this will be in the forefront of someone’s mind when they are new to the dating game.
Initially, we fall for someone who seems to have the qualities we feel we lack. As time goes by, the dynamic changes and the real people begin to emerge and this can cause disillusionment. The relationship fails to live up to expectations and the love affair ends..or deeper feelings emerge that are more rational, more measured – this is what we call love.
When we love two people at the same time, it’s important to ‘go inwards’ and really understand ourselves. What type of person do you feel complements you the most? Is it looks, status, money, kindness??? Be honest with yourself and remind yourself that some of the things you value now may not be as important in 10 years from now. Look for long-staying qualities such as tolerance, a supportive attitude and honesty rather than the short term qualities like power and popularity.
I personally like “KFC Men”….kind, funny and caring. That’ll do me just fine.
Mandy X
Photo by marfis75 
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
