Merry go round or Misery go round?

What does your experience of life feel like? Is it merry or is it misery? Now ask yourself why. Are you living the life you planned or is it way off track? One of the most common reasons for feeling off track is when we try too hard to please others, become submissive and passive and stop honouring our true selves. Here area few tips to get back on track:

1) Please yourself a little more

It’s okay to be selfish now and then and put your needs first. Be assertive in life – a “win-win” situation where you both get your needs met. Don’t be passive where you puts others’ needs ahead of your own constantly. You send yourself a message that you are not worthy when you do this.

2) Tune in to ‘you’ more often

Who were you before everyone else got a ‘piece’ of you? Before your parents, teachers, society in general got hold of you? You probably had dreams and wishes for yourself. Many have been abandoned along the way. Find these true desires again – take up old hobbies and interests you had in the past. Reconnect with your true self, the one that was natural and served you before others influenced you and lead you to abandoning things that made you truly happy.

3) Pick your happiest most positive thoughts

We have thousands of thoughts swirling about in our minds per day. The ones we pay attention to and believe will predominate and will to a large extent, begin to appear as true in our lives – something known as a self fulfilling prophecy. Visualise your thoughts as a river of words flowing past, you see them but you can let them float past without acting upon them or believing. Juts because you think it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true.

4) It’s all about balance

We try to make sense of our world by looking at life in extreme black-and-white ways. We believe in all or nothing ideals that rarely hold sway in the real world. The real world is full of grey areas, of exceptions to the rule. Learn to invite balance into your life, see life more in terms of how for every down there is an up and vice versa. There is a fine line between love and hate, being in control and losing control. See the bigger picture and try not to react to every small bump along the way.

5) Tune out the ‘noise’ from others

Stop caring so much about what others think. This dilutes your focus, takes you off track. Who cares what others want for you – what’s more important is what YOU want for you.

Make up your own rules for life. Learn to challenge existing ideas about yourself and the world.

Mandy X

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Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.