Did you know that you have negative automatic thoughts (NAT’s) every single day? We all do. Whether it’s chastising ourselves over being late, spilling our tea/coffee or just making an error in judgement, we all do it to a certain degree.
Your thoughts affect your quality of life
Think about the long term effects of talking negatively to ourselves. That continuous inner stream of negative self talk. It would destroy anybody.
The trick is to start becoming more aware of what the content of your thoughts are. This is the first step to counteracting this negative phenomenon.
“Oh I feel so lazy today. What’s wrong with me?” – This is a good example. There is nothing “wrong” with you but we internalise laziness as a fault within us rather than just allowing ourselves to have a less pressured moment/day. Instead of asking what is wrong with us, it would be far more beneficial to say something like “I am feeling very lazy right now but there are many times when I work so hard and therefore I deserve this bit of time off”
Negative automatic thoughts are normal
I encounter NAT’s ALL THE TIME when chatting to my clients and most of the time they are not even aware of their NAT’s as they have become so much a part of their ‘make up’, a normal part of their day.
“Do better, be better, achieve more, compare…compare” – all self defeating behaviours. Don’t engage in them. it is of no benefit to you. There are other ways to motivate yourself that are much kinder and encourage healthy self esteem and confidence.
Challenge your automatic negative thoughts
After the first step of identifying your NAT’s (write them down if necessary), look for alternative ways to talk to yourself. Is there another way?
Instead of “you are fat and lazy” how about “I may not be perfect but I am very good at…..” or “I could lose some weight and I am working on this but it doesn’t mean I am not valuable, or wonderful in many other ways”. I am not saying that you should not want to improve but rather that starting at a place where there is healthy acceptance of “what is” will get you much further than starting on the back foot of “I am not good enough”, for example.
Focus on strengths and minimise weaknesses…the key to healthy self-confidence
Watch those negative automatic thoughts and challenge…challenge..challenge
There are NO excuses for talking down to yourself – EVER….reframe your thinking. It will change/affect your life experience not just your internal dialogue. 🙂
Mandy x
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
