life Mandy Kloppers

One day at a time

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Sometimes all you can do is take life one day at a time. There is so much in life that is out of our control and it can be hard to cope with the intense emotions that uncertainty can bring.

This post is just a short message to remind you that even when things seem tough, the intensity of the emotions will decrease in time. When you feel low, you just want to speed up time until you feel better. Sadly, this isn’t possible.

What to do in the meantime:

Self care

Look after yourself. Be kind to yourself and stay out of your head as much as possible. Our thoughts can often be more scary than reality. Pamper yourself, go for a massage..do whatever makes you feel better about yourself.

Mindfulness

Try not to think too much about the past or dwell over “what ifs” when it comes to the future. Use your five senses now – see, hear, touch, taste and smell. Be in the moment as much as you can whilst suspending your thoughts. Just existing in the moment without getting caught up in your thoughts that worry you is a skill. Kee practising. Breathe in deeply, hold your breath for 4 seconds and then exhale slowly. This simple exercise can help you feel less stressed.

Acceptance

A healthy dose of acceptance regarding your current situation is a good thing. This doesn’t mean that you have to like it, but acceptance can take the stress out of trying to resist what is. Instead of thinking, “Why me? this is so unfair”, replace it with something like this: “I am in a sad place right now, it’s not great but I’ll get through this one day at a time”.

Goals

Create short term and long term goals to give you some direction. Use SMART goals.

Gratitude

Sometimes it may seem as if nothing is good but if you really look, you will find things to feel happy about. Kindness from a stranger, a cup of tea…anything small will do.

Interact with others

Don’t isolate yourself. Get out and see people. It’s the best way to get the time to pass quickly.

Have fun

You may not fancy fun or feel like much fun but maintaining a sense of humour during the tough times is cricual. Life is never as bad as it seems. Step back from what is going on. Know that you only feel so bad because of your thoughts and emotions. The world may not actually be as bad as it seems to you. Don’t overthink – one day at a time.

Explore

It’s important to learn the lessons that life sends us. Have you noticed a pattern in your life of unhelpful behaviours? Get counselling if you need to understand what keeps going wrong. If you understand why you do things, use new behaviours and try new things to change the old dynamic.

Being self reflective is a great skill in life. Don’t get too caught up with the nonsense in your head though. Sometimes we just end up going around in circles. Focus on what you can control (your thoughts and reactions) and let go of what you can’t )how other people will react and think).

Life is full of ups and down. Enjoy the ‘ups’ and sit tight during the ‘downs’. It will get better, you just need a little patience and distraction!

Mandy X

 

Photo by Mean Shadows on Unsplash

Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.

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