Playing it safe

Playing it safe is probably holding you back. I come across countless people in my private practice who live fearfully. On one hand, it’s easy to see why. We live in a world where there is constant change and little certainty. We all seek certainty as much as we can and want to feel safe. In fact, feeling safe is often a huge motivator behind most of our behaviour – staying in relationships that no longer work for us or staying in a job that brings us little fulfillment. Insurance companies have never had it so good as we all try our best to insure ourselves against uncertainty. The world is inherently uncertain yet we fight and resist this every step of the way.

On the other hand…What about a radical new approach? How about accepting that the world is uncertain and that despite this we can still flourish and explore? I am not talking about being completely reckless…I am talking about harnessing fear and just getting on with life. The more we believe our fearful thinking instead of challenging it, the more powerful it grows and the less we try fight against it. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen?

Risk it in love – yes, just do it.We all get rejected and if you never ask you will never know. Even if you are rejected, learn to talk to yourself in an empowering way – it doesn’t mean you are defective, it’s just a matter of not being compatible with someone. It’s not what happens to you it’s what you think about it.

Risk it in life – make that silly joke in public, wear your favourite clothes to bed, wear your favorite perfume every day not just on special occasions, go out with clashing colours on just for fun…live as if you only have a few months/days to live…

Always have a Plan B for sure but then put your fearful thinking away and go for it. Often we overestimate the fear and the challenge and possibly a negative outcome and we underestimate our ability to cope. How will you know if you never try? Don’t be one of those people in their old age that look back with so many regrets. Find out what could’ve happened – do it now.

Speak your mind, tell people you love them, tell people you like them…find another job if the current one doesn’t work for you…don’t stagnate. You will be in the top 10% of the population of people who risk it. You will be ahead of the pack.

Don’t be afraid to experiment and try things, be more afraid of the consequences of not trying and living a smaller less adventurous life.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.