Please like me
We’re all ‘people pleasers’ underneath. Who doesn’t want to be liked and popular? We can all fall into the trap of yearning for acceptance and validation from others. When we don’t get it we can feel useless and unloveable. We’re social creatures and we are wired to seek out acceptance and a sense of belonging. There is a BIG difference however between seeking a connection with someone else and seeking approval that we are fundamentally acceptable and okay.
Many of our negative ideas about ourselves come from when we were younger. It’s time to challenge these beliefs. Parents seem to know everything when we are young but as we age we tend to realise that they were flawed too. Use this fact to challenge any negative things they said to you. If you still believe negative remnants from your childhood – look for the evidence. Is it true or is it an ill-judged idea that was created a long time ago and is no longer valid?
Regularly look for evidence that is the opposite of your negative belief. You will find plenty of evidence although it may take some practise. When we have become accustomed to seeing ourselves in a certain way it can take time to allow new, healthier beliefs to emerge.
Make time each day to think about your inner dialogue. What do you tell yourself about you on a regular basis. Are these thoughts working for you and inspiring you or are they keeping you ‘small’ and fearful? Think about this – what do you want to believe about you? Why don’t you adopt the thoughts that you want to believe…what’s stopping you?
It takes practise but the more you watch your negative inner dialogue the better you get at challenging – you might not always get it right. Emotions tend to take us off on a tangent but even if you just manage to identify the thought, you’re on the right track. At least you are self aware – that’s a huge skill to possess and so many people respond to life like robots.
I’m imperfect. I’ve made many mistakes but replacing old negative beliefs and working on championing myself has helped me to have more self confidence. I am happy to be eccentric and a slight misfit but I embrace this (whereas I tried to disown that part of me previously) and won’t change who I am just to please the company I am in.
Photo by iloveart106