Positive Self Talk and Distress Tolerance

Sometimes we need to find strategies to help ourselves feel more at ease and cope with life. Ways that we can do this include positive self talk and learning to manage distress:

Positive Self-Talk

• I can get through this, I’ve managed before and I can now
• I don’t need to do this, it’ll only make it worse afterwards
• I’ll regret it and feel awful later
• It helps for a few minutes, but then it just makes it worse in the long run
• I don’t want to end up at the hospital again
• I can cope for another hour – I can take one hour at a time
• Positive Affirmations

Distress Tolerance

Use the acronym ACCEPTS to remind yourself of useful techniques to stay emotionally balanced.

The Wise Mind:  ACCEPTS

A       Activities (see distraction ideas below)

C       Contributing – helping others

C       Comparisons – comparing self with (better) self NOT with others

E       Emotions – generate different emotions by watching movie/tv, listening to music etc

P       Pushing away – thinking about or putting our attention onto something else

T        Thoughts – new thoughts.  E.g. counting, playing 10 (10 colours in room,

10 musical instruments, 10 fruits, 10 Bond films etc)

S        Sensations – use seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching senses

DISTRACTION IDEAS

Distraction helps us feel better by diverting our attention away from the distressing thoughts.  It works even better if you choose something that will really grab your attention and keep you absorbed in that activity.  Different things work for different people.  It’s worth trying and practising many of those listed, and more that you think of yourself, a few times each before giving up on it.

Some suggestions:…this should keep you out of mischief…

Home and garden

• Mow the lawn
• Clean the car
• Do some gardening
• De-clutter a room or part of a room
• Purge your wardrobe (give to charity)
• Clear out the spare room (give to charity)
• Sweep the path
• Cooking or baking something pleasurable
• DIY
• Bath the dog
• Brush the cat
• Clean the hutch/cage
• Re-arrange the furniture in one room

Leisure

• Do a crossword or sudoku
• Try out aromatherapy or reflexology
• Visit the hairdresser – try a new style or colour
• Watch television or a DVD
• Play on the computer
• Surf the internet
• Watch the clouds whilst lying outside
• Read a novel or new newspaper or magazine
• Walk or sit on the beach or park

Getting out

• Join a leisure centre or health suite
• Go for a walk or jog
• Get the old cycle out!
• Visit a new church
• Go to the library
• Visit a museum
• Check out what movies are on
• Go to a concert
• Browse an antiques or charity shop
• Find out what free classes are on offer
• Potter around window shopping
• Go out for lunch
• Go to the beach – whatever the weather!
• Learn to drive, or take a trial lesson
• Visit a nursery, garden centre or park
• Visit a tourist attraction
• Walk alongside the sea, river, reservoir or lake
• Take a bus ride somewhere new
• Visit an aquarium or zoo
• Visit a car boot sale
• Visit a nature reserve
• Visit a historical or natural site
• Visit an art exhibition
• Go for a drive

Being creative

• Take up a new hobby
• Learn another language
• Start an evening class
• Write a letter or article for a magazine
• Learn to meditate, do yoga or tai chi
• Start a diary or journal
• Write a short story or poem
• Take up a musical instrument
• Decorate a room, or a piece of furniture
• Paint, draw, sculpt
• Join a dance class
• Surf the internet
• Create a weblog or site
• Sew or knit
• Bake
• Make an ‘emergency’ box for distressing times – put in any small reminder of what helps
• Take photographs
• Make a scrapbook
• Sort out your photos

Self Soothing

• Have an early night
• Eat something you haven’t tried before
• Listen to some favourite (calming or uplifting) music
• Try a new newspaper or magazine
• Have a bath or shower
• Use aromatherapy oils
• Massage your hands or feet
• Write a list of things you have achieved, great and small
• Soak your feet
• Make a list of things that you can be thankful for
• Paint your nails
• Meditate, relax, yoga, tai chi, reiki
• Cuddle a soft toy
• Write a letter to yourself
• Read a letter you’ve written to yourself to read at these times

Making contact with others

• Telephone someone you haven’t spoken to for a while
• Join a self-help group
• Join a civil rights group
• Do some voluntary work
• Write a letter to someone you haven’t written to for a while
• Talk to a friend or family member
• Phone the Samaritans or another helpline
• Join an online support group or discussion forum
• Email a friend

Express yourself physically

• Bang a drum!
• Scream, shout or sing loudly!
• Rip up a phone book or newspaper
• Dance energetically to loud music
• Write – prose, poem, story, music, journal, diary, weblog, whatever comes into your head
• Write a letter to someone, but don’t send it – shred or burn it outside
• Run, walk, cycle, swim, go to the gym
• Paint
• Vacuum enthusiastically
• Kick a ball against a wall
• Punch or kick a cushion or pillow
• Cry

When something is out of your control, there is no point in mulling it over constantly. Instead – learn to manage distress by distracting yourself.

Mandy X

Photo by martinak15

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.