Marriage is a union that still carries a bit of a mystique. The modern-day media often gives us conflicting messages. Some say that marriage is an outdated, unromantic institution, but there are also those on the other end of the spectrum who hold tightly to the idea that marriage is a union meant for star-crossed lovers. The truth is that marriage is complex and different for every person who enters into such a commitment. When preparing for a successful union in today’s world, several things should be considered and discussed.
Deal With Finances
The financial aspect of marriage can be a difficult one to manage, but having serious discussions about this very important aspect of merging two lives will give you an advantage. Couples need to discuss any debt that either person may be carrying into the marriage. They should also determine whether they are savers or spenders. Additionally, planning out a budget will help with money management, setting you up for success from the very beginning of your marriage. Perhaps asset based lending could be of assistance to you at some point. Couples will benefit so much from sharing and discussing finances in detail.
Prepare For a Family
Prior to tying the knot, couples need to discuss whether or not they want to have children. Having a child is a life-changing event involving resources that far surpass money. It’s essential to take that into consideration when deciding if and when to bring children into the family. How many children would you like to have? What if there is difficulty in getting pregnant? Is adoption an option? Will one of you stay home with the children, and if not, what are the options for childcare? Knowing the answers to all of these questions before marriage can ensure that both parties are on the same page regarding such an important issue.
Make Long Term Goals
Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and there are several life stages in adulthood. Couples need to discuss their ideas for the future to ensure that both people are looking ahead at the same goals. Where will you make your home? Does either party have any educational or career-based goals that the other needs to know about? Even if the couple is young, they should discuss their ideas about retirement, as well.
Goal setting can give you insight into your partner as well as motivate and unite you. Marriage is essentially teamwork, and every team needs common goals to encourage compromise and continuous discussion.
Talk About Difficult Topics
Upon deciding to marry, there are a few topics that need to be broached. These include subjects such as religion, politics, and sexual intimacy. Couples should decide if their views need to align to make the marriage a success. If you choose to work through any differences, you need to communicate how compromise and tolerance will be a continuous presence in your discussions. It’s important to ensure that neither person ever feels as though their views are not valid or important.
Have Realistic Expectations
Humans are inevitably going to make mistakes. In marriage, holding your partner to an impossible standard will only leave you both disappointed and frustrated. It’s essential to forgive your partner for their shortcomings and accept them as they are. After all, everyone wants that kind of treatment in any relationship.
Marriage is not a fairy tale, and it requires a tremendous amount of sacrifice. No one gets married with the expectation that divorce will be in their future. When a couple takes the time to discuss important, difficult topics, there are fewer surprises. Both individuals are better prepared because they each know where the other stands. Preparation is the best way to set your marriage up for success.
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
