Pushing everyone away


alone photo

Pushing everyone away

Pushing everyone away

When depression arrives, many of us end up pushing everyone away. This is probably one of the worst things we can do but it seems a common reaction when low mood sets in. I know I have done it and hibernated at home, hoping the black cloud will soon lift.

It seems easier to hide away and not have to explain why I look so dishevelled (it can be such an effort even to attend to personal hygiene when you are severely depressed) or why I have so little to say about anything. Depression sucks the enjoyment of life out of you and takes away excitement and any sort of motivation. It is hard to explain it to someone who has never experienced depression. The worst thing that you can say to someone who is depressed is that they should “snap out of it”.

Pushing everyone away is a form of avoidant coping – avoiding in order to cope but it is counterproductive. The more we spend time alone, with time to think, the worse we feel. When I feel depressed one of the hardest things to do is to get out the house and DO something but it is the BEST thing you could do. Force yourself if you have to but try to get out the house instead of hiding from the world. You don’t have to talk to anyone, just get some fresh air and a little exercise. Even a short walk can improve your state of mind.

You can do it, you can fight depression. Take it one day at a time and start with small steps. If you are sleeping 14 hours (or more) per day, try to reduce that even by one hour…every small step helps. If you aren’t coping on your own, find out about seeing a therapist or ask your GP for a referral to your local IAPT (in the UK only) service (stands for Increased Access to Psychological Therapy). Never give up hope!

Mandy X


Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mental healthblog run by Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist. Mental health blog covers Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Psychology and relationship counselling.

1 Comment

  1. Mandy,

    While depression is not something I suffer from, nor is it something that runs in my family, it is something prevalent in my wife’s family. I have witnessed first hand the damaging effects of what it can do not only to the affected person but the loved ones around as well.

    I remember my wife and I took the time to go to a workshop where we learned about depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and other mental disorders. Through the workshop we the organizers had us try to do everyday tasks while under the pressure of any one or all of the above. I can promise you that it was not easy.

    Sadly, this was only a glimpse into the life of the ones who suffer.

    The most troubling thing about those living with it is they are often outcast from society and labeled. Labeling is a true crime against anyone and no one deserves to have it done to them. Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes rings true here and until anyone has done it, there is no need to label.

    Great post.

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