Relationships and commitment

There’s a myriad of reasons why relationships fail. Tears were shed on the proverbial couch today by Simone. She wants commitment, she wants marriage and her boyfriend doesn’t seem to want the same things. Time and time again I have witnessed this with my clients (and in my personal life). A woman likes to label the relationship, a man doesn’t. Relationships and commitment can always be a tricky area when expectations are mismatched.

In my opinion, if a man keeps coming around (this could apply to women too) then there should be no great need to define the relationship. Especially not for the first year anyhow. Once a woman tries to define the relationship and mentions the dreaded “C” word, the man invariably starts feeling trapped. He conjures up images of financial responsibility, of losing choice and this frightens him. I am referring to men here but this is becoming more common with women too.
If a woman leaves him to feel free, a man will be much happier to keep coming around. Then suddenly, it will gradually dawn on him that he enjoys being with his partner…he will grow fond of having her presence in his life and might perhaps even fall in love with her.
So, sit back, relax and see the bigger picture. As long as things seem to progressing in a good direction then all should be well in your world..
No one likes pressure and you’re more likely to get what you want by behaving in a laid back manner.
Trust me – it works

M x

Photo by DanGrebb

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.