Live in the moment – the power is now.
Anticipation is always worse than the actual event. Thinking makes it so. What we fear rarely comes true or is as bad as we anticipated. Learn to be less fearful and do things anyway.
Avoidance creates more fear, No reality testing occurs and the fear remains unchallenged, Approach life rather than avoid.
Anxiety = we overestimate the threat and underestimate our ability to cope. You are stronger than you know. Live more dangerously, be more experimental.
Relationships rule. We need others, we are social creatures. Oxytocin, the love hormone is produced when we spend time with others and it is far longer lasting than the quick hit we get from buying stuff.
Avoid debt – it drags you down and keeps you in the past and sucks joy from the present. I should know…I was in serious debt in 2007 from using too many credit cards. Never again. Save before you spend. Don’t live on credit, it’s a very bad idea.
Treat your kids with respect, they are unique and individual
They aren’t you. Your job is to support them and help them become fuly fledged, independent adults. Love them unconditionally and accept them for who they are.
Minimise and declutter where you can. Keep life simple. Too much clutter drags us down. Don’t buy into the “more is better” farce of modern day life. Be free, live minimally and before you buy, always ask yourself, “Do I really need it?” Often we purchase unnecessary stuff because we need an escape – address the underlying emotional need and you’ll be far richer – in your wallet and in your mind!
Have more fun. Pursuing pleasure is for the wise. Too many times I have observed people work their lives away, yet talk to people in an old aged home and you will never hear any of them say that they wish they had worked harder or worked longer hours. Don’t get caught in the rat trap. make sure you have a balanced life with lots of fun. Ditch the guilt too – fun is essential for a happy life.
See failure as a lesson. Never see yourself as the failure, rather look at what you tried as needing tweaking. Failure in my mind is giving up completely. Someone who tries and keeps failing is still a success as they are learning – this if the fundamental process of life for all us. No one is a complete success 100% of the time…
Be kind, give to others without expecting anything in return. It’s a liberating feeling knowing you are doing something completely for the sake of doing something nice.
You’re never too old. Watch the self limiting beliefs. What you believe becomes your reality. Believe in what’s still possible and don’t discount possbilities – look into them with wonder and excitement.
Vulnerability is underrated. Letting others in by showing your vulnerabilities can feel scary but it proves that you are part of the human race just like the rest of us. When we make ourselves vulnerable, we give others permission to do it too and it fosters closeness like nothing else does.
Don’t hold grudges, it’s the same as swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. Let it go.
Travel and explore. Curiosity about the world keeps your brain stimulated and keeps you young mentally. It also keeps you from getting stuck in a rut. Get out of your comfort zone regularly. Travelling is a great way to do this.
We all react differently. Sometimes it’s easy to judge others but remember that we all think differently. Some us think ABCDE, other see the same thing and may think ASDJH. Be flexible and open minded and give others the benefit of the doubt.
Understand WHY. We are far more tolerant when we try to understand why someone does something. If we look at behaviour in isolation it can make us hard and inflexible. When we try to see the background and develop empathy we are fare more tolerant. A tolerant world is a kinder happier place for all of us to live in.
Live life with purpose. Create goals, have some structure, something to look forward to. Do you know where you want to be in 2 years time? If you don’t, it’s time to sit down and make a list. Have direction creates purpose and keeps us on track. It’s vital. Create your goals but then get back to daily living. Check in now and then to make sure you are still working towards where you want to be. Think of it like swimming, we put our head in the water, make the effort to move forward, but every now and then. we look up and out of the water to make sure we are getting closer to the correct position at the end of the pool. It’s the same in life.
Change is good. The more we push ourselves the more confidence we build. We learn what we’re good at and we experience challenges that test our capabilities. Risk it now and then. We were put on this earth to grow and improve.
Thoughts aren’t real. They aren’t facts. They keep coming, we all have mad intrusive thoughts. Learn to be a better mind manager. You don’t have to act on or believe every thought that comes into your head. Most of them are nonsense. Learn to dismiss them and focus on the ones that build you into a stronger more positive person. Thoughts can become our reality but only if we allow them to.
You’re stronger and more capable than you realise. We all experience self doubt and many of us avoid experiences due to fear and lack of self belief. The truth is that we are often more capable then we realise. That is why it is important to expand your horizons and keep seeing life as an adventure. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you believe that you can or you can’t, you’re probably right”.
Gratitude increases peace and contentment. We are wired to focus on the negatives but when we make an effort to look at what is good in our lives and what we appreciate, it can have an immediate impact on our emotional well being in a positive way.
It’s okay to be selfish. When we look after ourselves, we have the resources to give to others. If we always put ourselves last we end up running on empty and resentment can develop. It really is okay to put yourself first before you help others out.
Perfection is boring – being different and quirky is in!
Never stop learning, it will keep your brain cells alive and can even avert Alzheimer’s.
Relationships change over time, It is unreasonable to expect to have the same level of infatuation as you did in the beginning. Always work at the relationship and make time for each other. Don’t allow children to be the constant buffer between you.
Worry less – it doesn’t help anything. They say: worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it won’t get you anywhere. We all tend to worry far too much. Understand that worry is normal but try to us it to solve problems rather than as a process in itself. That’s just wasted energy. if you find you are worrying too much over something you cannot control or change, try distraction – play a game or watch a movie. Worry in itself is wasted energy.
Mandy X
Photo by ™ Pacheco 
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
