What makes some people more resilient than others? Is it genetics/attitude, environment/circumstances or a combination of both? Resilience is the ability to bounce back from hardships even stronger than before. Instead of allowing failure and setback to get the better of them, resilient individuals find a way to overcome the struggles and carry on, sometimes even more determined than before. Let’s explore the factors that influence mental resilience…
Optimism
Optimistic people possess mental buffers. When something goes wrong, they tend to skim over the negatives and adopt a philosophical approach. They tell themselves a different story to the ones that pessimists tell themselves. Pessimists blame themselves for failure. They allow self doubt to drown them and their thinking encourages them to fall deeper into a pit of despair. Optimists, at times, almost fool themselves into believing a rosier picture that may not be entirely realistic but this type of thinking works. I say – DO WHAT WORKS. Whatever story you need to tell yourself to feel undefeated and carry on trying, do it. When an individual fosters positive thinking and optimism, the world appears different. It is full of opportunities and possibilities.
See failure as a learning curve
See failure as a lesson. Every successful person has failed some time in their lives. It’s just one of those ‘life truths’ that we all go through. Embrace failure and learn from it. All it means is that one way didn’t work – do not generalise failure to include yourself. Failing DOES NOT mean that you are a failure. Watch your thinking on this. I congratulate myself for the fact that I tried and have gotten back up and have tried something new. I see failure as necessary along the path to success.
Emotional Regulation
The first step to regulating emotion is to understand that emotions do not appear out of nowhere. There is always a trigger which leads to an emotion. Learn to identify the emotions that you are feeling and the events that bring those emotions into being.
The following actions can help:
Distraction
Mindfulness
Looking at the situation from a different perspective
The ability to detach from emotions temporarily to include context and perspective
Good support network
Having an outlet to talk through problems is also important in maintaining resilience. As the saying goes “no man is an island”. We are social creatures and need the help and assistance from others. Don’t shut others out. Talking to others sets your equilibrium back to ‘normal’ or near-normal and helps to extinguish inner tension.
Developing resilience is crucial if you want to get through life without falling at every hurdle. Part of being resilient involves developing a think skin and going forward with your desires and passions. Life is full of resistance but you can deal with it with greater inner resilience.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
