Nobody is all good or all bad. Wouldn’t life be so much simpler if people were all good or all bad? We’d be able to tell the difference immediately and we’d be able to stick with the angels and make our excuses with the devils. Job done.
We live in a world where sinners can seem angelic (or are very adept and conning others into believing they are something they’re not)and saints can be mistaken for sinners. So, how do we learn to tell the difference? So many clients come to see me bemoaning the state of their relationships. Some of them are in abusive relationships yet despite all the atrocious behaviour they have to put up with, they will still meekly remind me “they’re not all bad”. “He/she doesn’t abuse me that often”.
They justify the behaviour in order to cope with it. If they can somehow blame themselves or minimise the bad behaviour by blaming it on stress or their partner’s job, it seems more acceptable. It’s easier to live with. There is no way they would stick around in their relationship if the full awareness of what the reality is hit them.
Other see it, they don’t. So, there’s one example of how we can be saints and sinners..depending on the circumstances. Some people bring out the worst in us, others bring out the best.
When does the sinner in you emerge and when does the saint arrive? Our sinner-side can be great so long as we have a good moral background to keep us grounded. If we don’t, the sinner side can represent our unhealthy characteristics.
Identify when you are a sinner or a saint. What are your triggers? Do they work for you and keep your life happy? Letting your sinner out to have some fun can be good for you. We all need to let off steam at times and the healthiest way to live life is to use both sides of our character to release different energies. Accept the good with the bad and know how to use them well to your advantage.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
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