The Secrets of Persuasion

Manipulation is coercion through force to get someone to do something that is not in their own interest. Persuasion is the art of getting people to do things that are in their own best interest that also benefit you.

You can never persuade somebody who’s not interested in what you’re saying.  We are all most interested in ourselves, and spend most of our time thinking about either money, love or health.  The first art of persuasion is learning how to consistently talk to people about them; if you do that then you’ll always have their captive attention.

Here are a few suggestions to hone your own persuasion skills:

Mirroring – we like people who seem similar to us. Mirroring helps build rapport and this is one of the most powerful secrets of persuasion. Copying someone’s behaviour and adopting similar physical stances to them is a form of mirroring that creates a feeling of similarity and mutual understanding. Many of us engage in mirroring behaviour naturally without realising we are doing it.

Establish Value  –   Besides the necessities to survive, almost everything has value on a relative scale.  We want things because other people want these things.  If you want somebody to want what you have, you have to make that object scarce, even if that object is yourself. Showing that your suggestion has superior value is a brilliant technique when it comes to getting someone to understand the importance of what you are suggesting/offering.

Urgency – You have to be able to instil a sense of urgency in people to want to act right away. If we’re not motivated enough to want something right now, it’s unlikely we’ll find that motivation in the future.  We have to persuade people in the present, and urgency can be our most valuable card to play.

Herd Behaviour – the need for acceptance. We don’t like to feel that we are missing out on something. That is why reviews help to persuade us. When we are told something has been voted best in its category, our interest is immediately peaked.

Reciprocity – If someone does something for you, you often feel compelled to do something in return. The secrets of persuasion often involve a positive interpersonal connection.

Create Trust – being open and honest without any hidden agenda can help others to feel they can trust you. Telling people things they sometimes don’t want to hear but that are in their best interests can be a powerful secret of persuasion.

Create a Positive Environment – enthusing others with positive energy and offering a but of fun and happiness in their life can influence a person hugely. We all love to share in the enthusiasm and inspiration from others. It makes us feel good.

Confidence and Conviction –  There is no quality as compelling, intoxicating and attractive as certainty.  It is the person who has an unbridled sense of certainty that will always be able to persuade others.  If you really believe in what you do, you will always be able to persuade others to do what’s right for them, while getting what you want in return.

The person who is willing to keep asking for what they want, and keeps demonstrating value, is ultimately the most persuasive.  The way that so many historical figures have ultimately persuaded masses of people is by staying persistent in their endeavours and message.  Consider Abraham Lincoln, who lost his mother, three sons, a sister, his girlfriend,  failed in business and lost eight separate elections before he was elected president of the United States. Moral of the story – Never give up!

Mandy X

References:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonnazar/2013/03/26/the-21-principles-of-persuasion/