Ways to feel at ease with yourself:
1) Remind yourself that the body and face that you are living within is what you have to work with. All the wishing in the world isn’t going to make you someone else so begin focusing on what you DO love about you. Work with the ‘raw materials’ you have been born with and make the most of what you have.
2) Make a list of all your strengths and of all the things you love about you. Put this list somewhere that is easily accessible and read it often. We are too inclined to think about our bad points but this is a wasted exercise. Focus on what you have achieved – your personality traits that make you unique.
3) Do not compare yourself to anyone else. We are all different and we are all on our own paths at our own pace. If you must compare, look at where you were and where you are now. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself but do this for you, not because someone else has made you feel inadequate or not good enough.
4) When other try to put you down or criticise you – remind yourself that no one is perfect. Look at the source of the criticism. Happy people may offer you constructive advice, but it is a bitter and mean person that insults you or tries to belittle you. If someone does this, dismiss what they say as it is coming from a toxic place within them. It has nothing to do with you.
5) Care less about what others think. This is your life, your terms and you have to live with the consequences of your decisions, not them. Making decisions empowers you – whether the decision turns out good or bad. Stand on your own two feet and do what feels right for you.
6) Tune in to your inner wisdom. Guard against being brainwashed by the media, family, friends – outside influences in general. be open minded but but stay strong and do not be swayed from what is true for you. Stand up for what you believe in
7) Take responsibility for yourself. Blame is for the weak. Accept responsibility for where you are in life. You are in your current situation due to decisions and actions you have taken. The good news is that you are just as capable of moving away from situations you don’t like. It is up to you – no one else. Stop giving away your power by blaming others for your problems. Take action – you can do it. Be self reliant.
8) Maintain perspective. It is easy to feel inadequate and inferior when we conjure up stories (thoughts) about how other people live, how we feel deprived and how we lack certain things in life. Remember that there will always be those better off and those worse off. This point ties in with not comparing yourself. Your thoughts can take you along all sorts of fictional paths that do not really exist. Be mindful, focus on the present and separate thinking from fact. We tend to glamourise other people’s lives but most of this thinking is irrational. everyone has problems and worries..everyone..and to be truthful, most people live very mundane boring lives..Anyway – it doesn’t matter what they are doing. Get back to thinking about you and where you want to be…
9) Stay connected. See others and being on your side, try to see the world as a good place. There will always be bad elements in the world but make an effort to stick with like minded people who inspire you. Feeling bonded and connected with others can bring the most fulfilling experiences of all…
Mandy X
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.†~Thich Nhat Hanh
Photo by LaVladina 
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
