Self esteem requires patience

We need both time and patience with ourselves to develop high self esteem. If we push ourselves too quickly we may find we end up going backwards instead of forwards. If we don’t allow ourselves room to grow we could end up stagnating rather than renewing and growing into our full potential. When we use time and patience effectively in our lives, we let the passage of time work for us, not against us.

Patience involves making changes at our own pace.Our rates of growth and change vary and we need to learn to grow within a time frame that fits our needs and prsonalities.

To learn patience, it is a good idea to use journals and other similar methods of recording our lives to assess our growth after a period of time, not only on a daily basis. Growth is best seen when reviewed after a few months, six months or even a year.

Patience allows us to heal as part of our growth. Healing involves our physical health as well as our emotional well being. Healing is threefold: mind, body and spirit. If we aren’t feeling emotionally well, our bodies will suffer. If our bodies are out of shape , our emotional outlook may be negatively affected. When we look after ourselves and learn to heal our bodies and minds, we’re in a much better position to ease some of the self defeating characteristics that have affected our levels of self esteem.

How to use healing

To heal effectively we must see ourselves as good people. We must fundamentally like ourselves. The best way to do this is to take time each day for one or two weeks to list at least 5 qualities that we like about ourselves, without repeating a quality from one day to the next. With this exercise, we’re forced to look deep inside ourselves as we think of 5 different qualities each day.

Some of us may need to take extra care of our appearance. This can include better grooming, paying more attention to our clothing or to our exercise regime and diet. We can only do it for ourselves – no one else can do it for us!

Another aid to effective healing is to use meditation instead of medication (where possible).Meditation involves quiet time when we can tune in to our inner wisdom and spiritual forces outside ourselves for guidance. It involves quieting the stresses and anxieties within us so we can let peace and serenity in. When we feel relaxed inside, we’re less likely to seek escape like alcohol and other drugs or compulsive addictive behaviours.

Take an honest look at your negative unhelpful habits and look out for dysfunctional patterns of behaviour. Learn new coping skills to replace these bad habits and take action toward positive change and healing.

Look at yourself in new more positive ways and give yourself time to be human and make mistakes. as long as you are working towards improving on a daily basis, you’re on the right track – cut yourself some slack.
Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.