I am always going on about self love and self acceptance and how we need to champion ourselves more. This is true but I think I should clarify the difference between self love versus self awareness.
Too much self love and never accepting responsibility can sometimes be the key characteristics of a psychopath or a narcissist. Self love is aimed at those readers who always criticise themselves and put themselves down. It is aimed at those who sacrifice too much for the sake of others and who need to learn to look after themselves more and learn to be their number one fan.
Some people love themselves too much. They think they should have special treatment and believe they are superior to others. They have self love in abundance but it is unhealthy and despicable. I know quite a few narcissists and I suspect a few others are complete psychopaths. They do not need any encouragement to think the world of themselves.
Healthy normal individuals experience self doubt at times and don’t always feel confident. Be wary of someone who thinks the world owes them a living and that you are lucky they give you the time of day. Be very wary. In fact, I would advise not sticking around someone like this. If they are family or a close friend then limit time with them but certainly do not invest emotionally with this type of person – as in get into a realtionship with them. Don;t do it – you will be inviting misery into your life. Your needs will never get a look in unless your needs somehow coincide with the psychopaths wishes and desires. You will probably never feel good enough and nothing will ever be their fault. You will be blamed or others will be blamed for problems in life.
These people don’t change as the wiring in their brain is faulty. They have often suffered some type of childhood trauma and this has affected brain development and emotional development. Stay away if you want a happy carefree life.
If in doubt, have a look at my other articles on this blog on the signs and symptoms of narcissists and psychopaths. They are initially very charming and seem wonderful and loving – like a spider ensnaring it’s prey in a sticky web. Yes, I know that sounds melodramatic but I have seen countless times the end result of this entrapment. It rarely ends well.
Look for someone who is more ‘middle of the road’, who bumbles along and isn’t super-suave. Someone who sees their faults and can laugh at themselves. Look for someone who has empathy and genuinely cares for your happiness!
Mandy X
Photo by katiaromanova 
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
