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Attachment theory

attachment theory

Psychologists have long analysed the link between people’s upbringings and their relationship choices when they are adults. There definitely seems to be a link between the type of childhood we have and the type of adult relationships we choose. One of the main factors depends upon the relationship we had with the primary caregiver in our lives when we were …

happy relationship

5 Tips to Avoid Bringing the Problems From Your Last Relationship Into Your New One

The idea that love is always a happily-ever-after affair makes for interesting rom-com plots, but it isn’t reflective of reality. Many people have multiple romantic relationships throughout their lifetimes. They end for various reasons, sometimes by mutual consent — and other times, with fireworks.   If your previous romance ended with screams and tears, treat it as a learning opportunity. …

first date questions

Important questions to ask on a first date

When you go on a first date, you’ll probably feel a mixture of excitement and nervousness. You hope that you will get on with this potential romantic partner and you also hope that you will make a good first impression and that they will like you. From the very beginning, you will both be learning about each other to find …

parents

Dysfunctional Upbringings Wreck Society

There are so many crazy people out there and I’ve worked with a fair share of them. Murderers, paedophiles, rapists and Schizo’s…I’ve seen them all. Apart from those with organic mental illness/brain disease, the common characteristic is always a dysfunctional upbringing. Parents screw up their kids and this leads to an even more screwed up society. If parents were educated …

trauma as an adult

The face of trauma as an adult

Experiencing trauma as an adult has many similarities when comparing how adults behave after experiencing childhood trauma. This post identifies the typical patterns that emerge from childhood trauma. The experience is related to trauma lived by a female, however many adult males are affected by trauma during their adult lives as well. What is trauma? Trauma is a powerful and …

self reliance

No one else can fix you

No one else can fix you except yourself. The best counsellor or therapist in the world won’t be able to fix you without your collaboration and cooperation. As a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, I sometimes get clients who expect me to ‘fix’ them. They have this unrealistic expectation that a few sessions with me will somehow completely transform their lives with …

attachment disorder

Reactive attachment disorder

Reactive Attachment Disorder is the result of a child not forming a secure attachment to a primary parent or caregiver before the age of five. The lack of an early relationship where the child’s basic needs of food, shelter, warmth, and nurturing aren’t being met causes the child not to be able to form caring, loving relationships with others. Reactive …