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Coercive control – the signs and what to do

domestic abuse

Coercive control can be difficult to identify and you might have been in a relationship for years without being fully aware that you are being coercively controlled. It’s easy to know when you are physically abused – you have bruises and injuries as evidence. Coercive control is more subtle. You might be aware that something feels off but you have …

accused

What to Do When You’ve Been Falsely Accused of a Crime

Nobody likes to think that they will be falsely accused of committing a crime at any point in their lives. But sadly, it happens more than you might think. Up to 10% of convictions are wrongful convictions, which may not sound like a lot. But when you consider the millions of incarcerations that occur every year in the United States …

Avoiding the blame game

Avoiding the blame game is a skill that can be learned. When we blame someone else for what is going on in our lives, we effectively give up any control over our circumstances. What a hopeless and helpless place to be. Thing is, taking responsibility for where we are in our lives is crucial if we want to move forward …

personal responsibility

Taking personal responsibility

There are people who like to play the victim. They use phrases such as “I am this way because of what my parents did to me” or “I can’t be happy without you”. What these people don’t realise is that they are giving their ‘power’ away to others. They are basically admitting that other people make them happy or sad …

How to improve communication in your relationship

I regularly see couples to help them improve their communication. After being together for a while, communication can deteriorate, resentment can build up and intimacy and connection diminishes. Common problems with communicaton involve couples making assumptions about what their partner is thinking, usually in a negative manner. Then child mode ensues – well if they don’t care about me then …

What’s your attributional style?

    What’s your attributional style? We all assign meaning to things that happen to us and we tend to have habitual ways of doing this. Some of us lean towards a more negative attributional style and some of us tend to be more positive. Many depressed people possess a negative attributional style – when something positive happens to them, …

It’s all my fault

  It’s all my fault When relationships go wrong or go through a bad patch, it’s quite normal, and even healthy, to look at our own behaviour to see if we have contributed in some negative way. People who never see any fault in their own behaviour or continually blame others can cause just as much harm and damage as …

blame

Culture of Blame

Culture of Blame We live in age where many people indulge in the Blame Game. “It wasn’t me”… “You’re to blame”… “Why did you let this happen?” … and so it goes on. It is wasted energy blaming others. Whomever is to blame, the fact is, that the event, the wrongdoing, has occurred and blame does nothing other than cause …