Beating indecision
Have you ever been indecisive? It’s something we all experience at some time in our lives. Should I eat vegetable or a salad; should I go out or stay in; Costa Rica or Cape Town? Indecision is a normal part of life but for…
Tag: fear
4 Brilliant tips for tackling any problem
We all have problems to deal with in life. From a broken washing machine and the bank deducting money incorrectly to arguments with a loved one, bereavement and ill health. Most problems have many similarities and there is a formula that you can use…
Life is messy
I’ve seen many new clients recently and it always amazes me learning about people’s experiences and life stories. People are incredible, so resilient and strong in the face of adversity. No one seems to escape trouble – whether it’s affairs and heartbreak, deception, lack of…
Live a little
One of the biggest problems I have come across in my professional work and in my personal life is avoidance. We all avoid things we fear. Sometimes we allow life to pass us by because we are too afraid to take the next step. Have…
The fear bully
The fear bully resides in all of us. The ever present bully that tells us we can’t do something, that we are too fat, too old, too stupid (etc etc). My fear bully is always there, encouraging self doubt and self criticism. The thing is,…
I’ve lost my way
“I’ve lost my way” is something I have heard many times over the years from friends and clients alike. I have lost my way too at various stages in my life. Part of life is feeling lost and if you’ve never felt lost you must…
How to reduce avoidant behaviour
Photo by theglobalpanorama How to reduce avoidant behaviour Fear often underpins avoidant behaviour. When we don’t like the idea of something or it seems threatening, the easiest option is to avoid the feared person/object/event. The bog problem with avoidant behaviour is that when we avoid…
Reducing fear in life
Reducing fear in life Anticipation is often far worse than the reality. Our thoughts can invite crazy fear into our lives that may not even exist. As they say – when you are in your own mind, you are in enemy territory. For many people…
How to face your fears
How to face your fears What are you afraid of? Do you avoid relationships because you fear rejection? Do you avoid job interviews as you worry you will fail? Fear is everywhere but it’s mostly in our minds. I know that seems a contradiction…
The cause of anxiety
The cause of anxiety In cognitive behavioural therapy, we refer to the anxiety equation. The anxiety equation shows the cause of anxiety. Overestimation of the threat ____________________________________ = Anxiety Underestimation of ability to cope Anxiety is always caused by our overestimation of the perceived…
Stop running away
Stop running away When life gets overwhelming, it is tempting to want to avoid problems, pretend they aren’t there and numb ourselves with some from of escapism such as alcohol, drugs, excessive spending, illicit affairs and so on. The problem with this strategy is…
How to challenge worry
How to challenge worry Worrying is a waste of time- it expends mental energy but doesn’t solve anything. Solution focused worry is the best type of worry but most worry is made up of random ‘nonsense’ thoughts that destroy the current moment by sucking…