Mandy Kloppers – Psychologist (CBT) – Global Online Therapy
A person is said to be co-dependent when they overly rely on another person for their happiness and emotional needs. They pursue this external source of fulfilment instead of focusing on themselves primarily. Co-dependents engage in self-sacrifice and subjugation. They often put their needs behind the needs of their partner and this makes the relationship very difficult to sustain …
Relationships are a transaction Are you giving too much? Do you know the limits when trying too hard starts to work against you? It seems that many people do not. Underneath we tend to be ‘people pleasers’ in that we want to be liked and accepted. A need to fit in is healthy and it ensured survival in …
Life Traps that we all experience Life traps are situations in life that we find hard or difficult to escape from. Certain kinds of thinking and acting result in a vicious circle when, however hard we try, things seem to get worse instead of better. When we try to deal with feeling bad about ourselves, we think and act in …
We all care about what others think of us to some degree. Evolutionary Psychologists say this is because we needed others to survive millions of years ago. If we were shunned from the tribe, our chances of survival dimished rapidly. We are social creatures and we want to feel liked and included. When we care too much though about what …
How to value yourself If you don’t value yourself, no one else will. Teach others how to treat you by showing them that you respect and value yourself. Maintain boundaries regarding acceptable behaviour from others Be clear about what you will and won’t accept from others. I grew up witnessing domestic violence and that is one boundary that is …
Why you must stop seeking approval Stop seeking approval as it is the quickest way to lose your identity and veer off the right path – the one that you are meant to be on. When we seek approval we suppress our true selves in order to fit in with other people’s accepted versions. In the process, we …
Please like me We’re all ‘people pleasers’ underneath. Who doesn’t want to be liked and popular? We can all fall into the trap of yearning for acceptance and validation from others. When we don’t get it we can feel useless and unloveable. We’re social creatures and we are wired to seek out acceptance and a sense of belonging. There …
Those that disagree with you One thing that I have come to learn over the years is that there will always be someone who will disagree with you about something. It’s a case of not being able to please everyone all of the time. There are many ways to look at things in life, so it may be that there …
Why ‘people pleasing’ is bad for you Is it important to you to be well liked and accepted by others? Most people would agree that they want to be liked by others. The trouble starts however, when we go out of our way to please others, often at the expense of ourselves. When we try too hard or put other …