Teenagers need their privacy

All teenagers like to assert their independency by staking their claim of complete authority over their private space – their bedroom. Parents sometimes take this personally thinking that their teenagers have something to hide. Thus isn’t the case – it’s more about growing up and wishing for some control over their lives.

As far as possible it is important to honour this privacy and not make an issue out of it as it is normal age appropriate behaviour. Give your teens as much secure individual space in your home as possible.

-Hand over full responsibility of this space to them

This means detaching and letting them choose how to live in their space – how to lay it out and when to tidy. Most teens do grow into tidy adults!

-Have a lockable bathroom if possible

That toddler who happily pranced naked in front of you may now feel embarrassed just brushing their teeth in front of you.

-Provide a private phone/mobile if possible

Obviously be clear with them about financial limitations but a certain amount of freedom teaches you teen the skills to self regulate

-Don’t punish, or make fun of their need for secrecy

Many parents feel a little put out when their teens become more secretive and start isolating themselves in their bedrooms. Try to resist saying anything, even in jest as teens can be particularly sensitive.

– Be a good role model

Enjoy your own need for privacy and remember that your teens are still learning from you all the time.

Respect your teenagers need to privacy. Accept that they may want to close their door without necessarily meaning they are hiding things from you. Always knock and treat them with the same consideration that you would want from them.

Mandy X

Photo by emmacraig1

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.