1) Your upbringing will influence you for the rest of your life
Your emotional memories of a parent you adored or feared, create pathways in the limbic part of the brain. Every time you revisit those memories, positive or negative, you reinforce the path, deepening a trench of emotional connection. Throughout life, your unconscious mind embraces any new person who reminds you of those older paths.
They exert an almost irresistible pull, compelling you to make decisions that feel like choices but are actually automatic responses guided by the map of your past: It’s like a ghost road that lures in passers-by. Your adult style attachment will be influenced by the type of attachment you had with your primary caregiver. If your needs were met consistently you will tend to have a secure attachment style – the style that offers the best hope for positive healthy adult relationships.
2) You will be let down by someone close to you at least once
We will all be let down at some point. Don’t feel alone, it’s part of life. See it as a rite of passage into discovering life.
3) Happiness is a fleeting sensation
Happiness does not persist in it’s pure form for days on end. It’s a little like an orgasm. You feel it, hopefully you acknowledge it and think to yourself “I feel really happy right now” and then it fades. You can still feel content but that real happy feeling is fleeting
4) Money doesn’t automatically bring happiness
This is one we all know but perhaps need reminding about sometimes. It’s easy to think that those with money are carefree but the fact is they aren’t. It’s just the nature of their problems that change. Money doesn’t make people love you nor does it make you a wonderful person or give you a healthy attitude to life. It has its limits.
5) Uncertainty and change are certain
Being tolerant of change is uncertainty is a mental strength. As soon as you accept that change is inevitable you can get on with the task of managing it rather than resisting it. Much more useful.
6) Thoughts can create heaven or hell under the exact same circumstances
Watch your thinking – your thoughts are not fact. You cannot live a positive life with a negative mind.
7) Nasty toxic people are only projecting their inner misery
Never take an insult to heart again. Toxic people are miserable people. They are merely giving you a taster of what they feel like inside all the time..comfort yourself with this thought and be thankful that your inner world is more balanced than theirs.
8)We are conditioned to conform by teachers, authoritative figures, society…
Be a critical thinker and always question why you are doing something. Is it because you want to or is it because you feel obliged to?
9) Ignorant parents are the cause of a lot of trouble in the world today
Most of the troubled teens and young adults I have worked with have had awful upbringings. Their parents have been neglectful, have abused them or been poor role models, allowing their children to witness drug abuse and other horrific life realities.
10) Congruency – the key to peace of mind
Always work to be “at one” with your inner self (the real vulnerable you) and the person that you present to the world. When we are true to our essential selves, peace of mind follows.
11) True fulfilment comes from thinking beyond yourself – meaning and purpose
Help others out, show kindness and give of your time and compassion. It really makes a huge difference to the meaning of life. When we are self serving, life becomes small and incestuous and ultimately unhealthy.
12) We are born equal and ‘leave’ equal
We arrive alone, a clean slate and we leave alone eventually. I use this to maintain perspective on what’s important in life. Make each day count and keep your eye on the bigger picture. In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff.
In many ways, we are all living parallel lives, going through similar experiences. The next time you feel alone or isolated, remember that someone, somewhere is experiencing exactly what you are. You are never really alone.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
