There is a clever way to feel inspired and fulfilled and it might not be what you think it is. Often, we believe that 1 certain thing will lead us to happiness. Many people believe that money is the answer. I regularly hear clients tell me that when they are financially secure, they will feel happy. The mistake that many people make is to put their happiness on hold.
They mistakenly believe that happiness can only be achieved once certain things have been acquired. It really is crazy to think that happiness can only be achieved in certain conditions. What if financial security never arrives ? what if financial security isn’t the answer ? so many people spend their lives mistakenly idea lising happiness when they could have it right now.
One of the best ways to deal with depression is too do more. Not only should we be more active when we are depressed but we should also be active in ways battle fulfilling , important and provide enjoyment. Too many people strive to be happy while doing the wrong things. Ultimately they never achieve happiness because they are searching in the wrong places .
The key to long term fulfilment and contentment is to live a life that is in line with your values. When we live a life according to our values , these activities act as natural antidepressants. Have you ever stopped to consider what your values are ?
Values
Key points
- Values and Principles work together and are interdependent
- Sometimes principles are in conflict and we have to choose one over the other.
- You can only fail at actions. Failure does not cancel out the value. Thus, one can act dishonestly, but still endorse the principle “being honest.” Think of your own experience, sometimes we will stray from a valued path. All we can do is keep getting back on the path, and keep recommitting to what is important to us. We cannot expect to always be on the path.
- You do not need to justify their values. Values are merely chosen.
Here are a few values for you to consider (choose your top ten- fifteen)
Connecting with nature
Gaining wisdom
Creating beauty – art, dancing, gardening etc
Promoting justice, caring for the weak
Being loyal
Being honest
Being sexually desirable
Helping others
Having genuine good friends
Having relationships involving love and affection
Being ambitious and hardworking
Being competent and effective
Having a sense of accomplishment and making a lasting contribution
Having an exciting life
Having adventure
Having a life filled with novelty and change
Being physically fit
Eating health food
Engaging in physical activity
Acting consistently with religious beliefs and faith
Showing respect for tradition
Being self-disciplined and resisting temptation
Showing respect to elders
Meeting my responsibilities
Maintaining safety and security of my loved ones
Being wealthy
Being safe from danger
Having authority, being in charge
Having influence over people
Having an enjoyable leisurely life
Enjoying food and drink
Being sexually active
Being creative
Being self-sufficient
Being curious, discovering new things
Figuring things out, solving problems
Striving to be a better person
Experiencing positive mood states
Feeling good about myself
Designing things
Teaching others
Resolving disputes
Enjoying music/art
Organising things
Working with my hands
Researching things
Competing with others
Being admired by others
Acting with courage
Caring for others
Working on practical tasks
What value do you want to put into play (or more into play) in your life? Values are like guiding stars. You set your course by them, but you never actually reach them or permanently realize them.
Now pick an action(s) that will lead you to put your value into play.
What internal “stuff” seems to stop you from achieving that goal?
Emotions and sensations?
Unhelpful rules (musts, shoulds) and evaluations (such as “It’s awful,” “I can’t stand it,” “I’m not good enough”)?
The key here is to look at this private stuff as what it is—just stuff—not what it says it is. Private stuff seems more powerful than reality sometimes. It often says it is something that is dangerous or something that is literally true. Take anxiety. It says it is powerful, like you have to run away from it or listen to what it says. Notice how “anxiety” is just a word that describes a bunch of fleeting thoughts and feelings. Notice how you can have those thoughts and feelings and still do what you value.
Are you willing to make room for the thoughts and feelings that show up as a result of your committed action?
Yes Go forward with your journey and experience it!
No Go back, choose a different valued action, and repeat this exercise.
Daily diary for valued living
The Daily Diary Worksheet (below) is intended to help you put values into play during your daily life. It is designed to require no more than five minutes a day to complete. The worksheet helps you to identify values and actions, and to anticipate potential barriers to those values and actions. Finally, at the end of the day, it helps to reflect on how successful you were at living out your value.
Daily Diary
Date________________
Beginning of the Day
On this day, what value would you like to put into play?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What concrete action(s) would you like to take to put the value into play?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What thoughts and feelings come to mind that might seem like barriers to this action?
___________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Are you willing to make room for the thoughts and feelings that show up as a result of your committed action?
Yes Go forward with your journey today and experience it!
No Go back, choose a different valued action, and repeat this exercise.
| End-of-the-Day Rating
|
||||
| During this day, I have acted consistently with my valued direction: | ||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
5
|
| Not at all | A little bit | Moderately so | Quite a bit | Very much so |
Exploring different domains of life
What principles would you most like to put into play:
- At work (or in your career)
- In your romantic relationships.
- In your family life
- On your sports team
- In your friendships
- In your religious activities
- In your leisure activities or hobbies.
For any particular domain, you can sort cards in two steps
- Stage 1. Put cards into two piles. One pile has principles that are important to the domain. One pile has principles that are not important to the domain.
- Stage 2. Examine the principles in the “relevant” pile. Pick the Top 5.
This task can help people put principles into play in all aspects of their life. The principle cards included here provide a jumping-off point.
The more you live in line with your values, the happier you will be. Too often, people get caught up in lives that do not meet their underlying values and that is a recipe for unhappiness. If you are a caring person who loves freedom yet you work in a bank, you may be unfulfilled.
Figuring out what your values are and creating life around them is key to enjoyment and contentment and a life well-lived.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
