Do you even know what your mind is telling you every day? For many of us, we have an inner dialogue going on and we don;t even know what it is. I call these random thoughts that keep on coming the ‘nonsense in your head’.
Where does the nonsense come from?
When you are born, you are a blank slate. You have no preconceived ideas about the world but you begin to learn very quickly. When you get hungry or have a tummy ache, you learn that pain exists. When you want to be cuddled and your parents don’t pick you up, you learn that you won;t always get your needs met. And so it goes..we learn every day.
If we have attentive consistent parents, we learn that the world seems pretty safe. If we have neglectful parents, we learn a different set of rules. the brain develops differently and the neural patterns form differently according to what we experience.
Now imagine finding out years later in adulthood, that you have self limiting beliefs that you never realised you had. This is what happens to many of my clients. They take their nonsense as geniune fact and behave accordingly. Big mistake.
The insightful people are those who know not to believe every thought they think. The nonsense will keep coming: you can’t do that; you aren’t enough; you’re too young or too old; you are a misfit…
We all have our own version of nonsense. It stops us from experiencing life because it makes rules for us. If we experience a bad relationship, it will tell you that relationships are bad news. You may even decide to avoid them for many years. Your nonsense department will have created a “rule for living” that you now have to obey if you want to stay safe.
Rules for living take the form of, “if this…then that”. For example: “If I say no then they won’t like me.” You believe that rule for living (it is a thought not a valid fact that would happen each and every time), don’t challenge it with possible alternative thoughts, such as: Saying no means I am being assertive and maintain health boundaries.
So we behave in accordance with the nonsense rule for living and never say no, we end up people pleasing our whole life and feel pissed off.
Get used to the idea that there is a lot of nonsense in your head, that’s a fact!
Learn to acknowledge it but don’t pay attention to it. Just observe, maybe say something to yourself like, “Ha, there I go again…silly thoughts”.
What is REAL is the world around you – the concrete things you see. Some scientists and physicists may even argue that point…
Focus on the REAL world and remember you colour that world with your own version of nonsense.
Mandy X
Photo by Nikolay Hristov on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
