The secret to resilience

Self-doubt is an ever lurking presence for many of us. It’s easy to see why we all doubt ourselves in question our motives and at times even our own value and worth as a human being. I have found it quite intriguing as to how many of my clients as well as personal friends and family, who have admitted that one of the underlying fears is that they are not good enough. This is probably one of the most common thoughts we all share.

In a world full of people trying to make their mark, prove themselves and with so many of us and so many varying opinions, it’s no wonder we get caught up in self-criticism and self-analysis. There is always someone there who is ready to judge, criticise or have an opinion on something that we do. So the question is, what can we do to build resilience and a stronger foundation within ourselves in order to withstand the constant onslaught from others and the world around us?

The answer to this is simple-self belief. When we have self belief, this faith in ourselves carries us forward when no one else seems to support us. We all need validation and support but there will be times in our lives when this will be scarce and this is when we need to draw on our inner strength to move forward. Here are a few ways to foster inner strength and resilience to help us keep strong in the face of opposition and adversity:

Learn to trust yourself. Listen to your gut instincts more often.

Stop assuming that others always know better than you do or are more knowledgeable than you are. They may just be better at talking the talk rather than really backing it up with solid wisdom and/or talent.

Get comfortable with making your own decisions. You don’t always need reassurance before making a decision. Get out of that habit.

Take responsibility for your own life. Do not play the blame game or stay in victim mode

Question the source of criticism and judgement always. Do you respect the source of the criticism? Do they matter in your world?

Regularly remind yourself of how far you have come. Often we focus on how far we still have to go. Do yourself a favour and always give yourself credit for the journey so far.

Regularly remind yourself of the strengths and achievements.

Big yourself up talk to yourself as if you are your number one fan. It’s so healthy to like yourself!

Have a healthy relationship with failure-see failure as part of the process of self-improvement and a way to learn. You are never a failure..separate what you try to do/your behaviour- which may fail at times and you-the person.

Inner resilience needs work, it rarely just exists. Carefully craft your inner dialogue and trust in yourself more. Even if things do go wrong – you will soon learn that outcomes are rarely as catastrophic as you may have believed them to be and you will most likely cope, learn and move through the difficult times.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.