I’m frequently concerned about how many clients I see who are not happy with themselves. The bottom line is that we have to live with ourselves for the rest of our lives. It’s just me, myself and I. No matter how many friends or family you have, there will still be things you need to face alone and find a way to cope with on your own. When you don’t accept yourself, you make your life unnecessarily difficult.
There are three main reasons why you don’t accept yourself. The good news is that you have the power and the ability to change this and start liking and accepting yourself… Possibly even loving yourself. Just think how liberating that would be! Less of that self-criticism and more time spent focusing on other things.
You are surrounded by fake images (aka fake people)
Recently there was a story in the Press about Khloe Kardashian. An unfiltered photo had made its way into the public realm by mistake. It’s a sad state of affairs when a real authentic photo causes such an embarrassment. What does that say about Khloe Kardashian? Either she’s ashamed of her natural looks and body or she wants to portray a fake image to the world.
Either way, this perpetuates a falsehood for women out there. We get taken in by these fake images that have been airbrushed and altered, & try to live up to these impossible standards. You don’t accept yourself when you try to emulate these women. The average mortal cannot meet the standards obtained through airbrushing and filtering and is left feeling that they are inferior or inadequate in some way.
I find it incredibly frustrating that this is how the world works these days. What has happened to being authentic and accepting yourself as you are? The truth is no one is perfect and we all have lumps, bumps and parts of ourselves we don’t love 100-percent. The problem comes in when there is pressure to present ourselves as something that we aren’t.
The Kardashians could be a great source for good in this world if they were brave enough to show what real women look like. Instead, they maintain low self-esteem for women in general. It is only through being authentic and showing others that we can accept ourselves as imperfect as we are without is constant need for perfection.
You ‘buy into’ and accept these fake images
The next time you see images in a magazine or newspaper on Instagram showing a seemingly perfect person, remind yourself that nine times out of ten that’s not what they look like in everyday life. Every day, people who place fake images on public domains are sending themselves a message that they don’t believe that they are good enough to be their true selves. It’s a toxic message and one that you must resist if you want to protect your self-esteem. . The more you accept the way you are (and it doesn’t mean that you can’t improve yourself) right now, the happier and more content you will be.
When you accept these fake images as reality, you will create inner distress which will lower your confidence and your levels of self-acceptance. I hope that one day women will shun cosmetic surgery and will accept the natural aging process. If this became a societal norm, everyone would feel more at ease. Humans tend to be competitive and we tend to compare ourselves, so as long as there are women who are treating themselves there will always be other women trying to live up to that Ideal. This is how the cycle of unhappiness and insecurity continues…
You don’t accept yourself as you are
Accepting yourself does not mean if you cannot wish to improve. It does mean where you are right here right now is okay. We live in a world of superficiality where everyone wishes to present themselves or something they are. The more you reject this fake and false where life, the freer you will feel.
Stand in front of the mirror naked and just have a look at your beautiful natural form. If you catch yourself judging or being negative, pull your focus gently back to admiring and observing without judgment. The more often you do this you will accept yourself. Remind yourself regularly of your strength and maximize your skills and talents.
Every day we receive messages that we are not good enough in our natural state. We receive messages that our ‘raw materials’ just don’t cut it. You get to choose whether you want to take this on board and live according to these ridiculous rules, or whether you want to be free and set your own rules.
Looking good is still highly valued in today’s society yet you can be a toxic person underneath. To me, that’s a sad world to live in. We should be focusing on who we are not what we look like.
Stay natural and real
Think about this… Have you ever seen a woman who looks natural yet she’s really confident in her own skin? I don’t know about you but when I see that I wish for that same self-assuredness. People who seem to like themselves just as they command respect every by internet and like them too. People who walk around looking plastic and pouting constantly just don’t seem to give off the same levels of warmth and inner tranquility. This is because they are caught up in this never-ending cycle of pretending to be something that you’re not.
Move away from this ‘prison’ and define yourself according to your own values and goals. Go out without makeup on. Learn to love and embrace the way you look and celebrate your uniqueness.
Stop caring about what other people think about you.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
