Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer

Tip toeing in relationships

Tip toeing in relationships is inevitable at times. It’s when this becomes a consistent pattern that you need to sit up and take notice. Tip toeing in relationships hints at underlying problems such as a lack of communication or possibly a lack of compatibility.

I specialise in abusive relationships and often when there is emotional abuse there is a lot of tip toeing going on. One partner is very moody and unpredictable, leaving the other person to feel they are on tip toes around their grumpy partner. They never know what to expect.

If you are in a relationship where you feel you are ‘treading on eggshells’, ask yourself what it is exactly that you are afraid of. Are you afraid of rejection? Is it fear of abandonment? It could also be low self esteem…are you trying too hard to accommodate your partner and keep them happy? This is a bad move as you will be unable to keep up this strategy forever and you will become despondent in the process.

Have it out with your partner. Let them know when you feel you need to tip toe around them. They may not even realise the impact they are having on you. Figure out what your fear is and push through anyway. If you fear upsetting your partner, keeping your feelings bottled up will create resentment over time.

Learn to communicate assertively using “assertive script”:  “When you…I feel… so what I would like you to do is…” When you use assertive script, you come across assertive, not passive or aggressive. This is the best way to get your partner to listen. If you start communication with aggressive statements such as “You always…” or “You never…”, the other person will close down and their walls will go up and communication will be shut down.

Never allow tip toeing to go on for too long. It is poison to a relationship over time…

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.