Ways You Let Yourself Down
1) I’ll be happy when…statements
You let yourself down when you delay your happiness upon the condition of a future event occurring. You can choose to be happy right now with what you have. Daniel Gilbert, a well known Psychologist, found in his research that the happiness we anticipate and the actual event often don’t match up. Stop giving away the precious fun of the moment. Delaying happiness is a sad way to live life that robs you of the present moment. Learn to be happy now instead of waiting. You can make that choice.
2) Holding Grudges
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the person you hate will suffer. You suffer because they are in your head. While you are seething and resentful, they are off doing their own thing..and guess what…they are probably not thinking about you. Don’t allow them to have any head space. They are not worth it. Distract yourself, make peace but don’t hold on to negativity. You cannot control others but you can control your reactions.
3) Allowing Others to Hurt You
I’m not talking about “one-offs”. I’m referring to people who surround you and ‘drain’ you – emotionally, physically and mentally consistently. You let yourself down when you allow it to continue. Surround yourself with people who help you to grow and flourish, not keep you small and living a limited life.
4) Focusing on negative thoughts
Negative thinking puts you on a lower vibration. It sends out toxic energy. When we think positively and try to minimise our negative thinking, we invite better things into our lives. Whether this is due to the law of attraction or whether it is due to our enhanced body language and positive expectancy – something shifts. Of course it isn’t easy to always see the silver lining but it pays to keep trying to change your habitual thinking. Don’t let yourself down by believing your negative thoughts – they aren’t real.
5) Focusing on material gain
The old cliche – money doesn’t buy happiness is true. When you haven’t had much money it can seem like the magic elixir to fix all your problems. When you have experienced money you soon realise that it adds choice to life but it doesn’t affect the emotional quality of your life. You let yourself down when you allow yourself to believe that money will fix your life. I have found that happiness is fleeting, contentment lasts longer. Experiences, connecting with others and feeling involved in the world is what makes us feel alive. Possessions only provide short lived joy.
6) Letting Fear Win
When you stay in your comfort zone, the outside world remains a mystery. Fear can stop us in our tracks and it is tempting to stay in a place that makes us feel safe. The problem with this is that you miss valuable opportunities to test your emotional and mental strength when you let fear win. The only way to test your mettle and gain confidence is to confront the unknown. Even if you find there are things you cannot master, you still learn valuable lessons about yourself and you adapt. Self efficacy improves with regular trips outside of your comfort zone. You let yourself down when you play it too safe.
Celebrate your flaws…get used to loving yourself – you’re a work of art. Make the most of yourself and follow your own path. Don’t allow others to dim your light by comparing yourself to them unfavourably. Accept your unique path and get stuck in with living well.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
