cognitive behavioural therapy; psychology; relationship counselling

What it means to be self partnered

What it means to be self partnered

When you are self partnered, you are single yet committed to yourself. Committed to honouring and cherishing yourself. Being self partnered also means that you are completely at one with being single and do not need someone to complete you.

Self partnered basically means you have a healthy respectful relationship with yourself. There are many negative connotations these days related to being single. This term (self partnered) places a positive spin on being single. Many people are single out of choice not because they cannot find anyone suitable.

There needs to be a shift in how we look at those people who are single in society. There is nothing wrong with being on your own and it shows strength of character when you have healthy self respect. I see far too many unhappy clients who are stuck in miserable relationships. Many won’t leave out of fear of what others think and the fear and shame that being single means to many of them. Why is this so and where has this perception come from? A more enlightened view is that being single is just as acceptable as being in a relationship. In many ways it is superior to being in a relationship as it shows you can stand on your own two feet, take full responsibility for yourself and that you are an independent free thinking individual.

Self actualisation is far more possible when you are single. I have found that I achieve far more when I am single than when I am in a relationship. In a relationship, my goals become slightly diluted and I have to consider the needs of another person. It’s fairly common to ‘lose’ yourself slighty in a relationship. You tend to merge slightly with your partner and form joint goals rather than singuar goals, for the most part.

Emma Watson recently coined the phrase “self partnered”.

Emma Watson has discussed how happy she feels to be single as she prepares for her upcoming 30th birthday, describing herself as “self-partnered”. If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out… There’s just this incredible amount of anxiety,” Watson stated.

Being single is something to be proud of. It shows strength. There is no need to give in to pressure to be partnered up, married and having children – reject all that if it doesn’t fit with your life plan. Being self partnered can be healthy and satisfying, you just have to see it that way and not believe that the grass is always greener in a relationship.

Mandy X

References: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dating/emma-watson-single-self-partnered-relationship-little-women-a9185311.html



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